Monday, April 27, 2015

no apologies

No apologies

Cassie rarely gave in to going out. After all, she usually stayed to herself. She actually liked it that way, but she had never done anything with Sam, and it was practically she decided to check out the menu at the new New Orlean's style cafe in the Old Market.

And that's when Sam told her the news about Sky. She was ecstatic.

Cassie listened and studied the menu.

"Wouldn't it be fun know, your boyfriend and mine could all hangout?" Sam's enthusiasm lodged a prickly feeling in Cassie's throat. She could hardly speak.

"I.." Shook her head. "I don't date."

"Who said anything about a date?" Sam's eyes lit as if Cassie didn't get it.

"Look, I did go out with this guy, once, and.." Cassie shook her head, no. "Believe me, I being alone."

That was when she was a freshman in college. Of course, the college guy thought he'd get lucky. He didn't. And no one asked her out, after that.

Besides, she didn't want to explain it to Sam, but she could see from the stare she was getting that Sam thought she was strange.

"Oh, God..look, I enjoy, having some time to myself." She winced. Where did she begin? She'd given up her old life the freshman year of high school when her parents sold everything because they thought the world was going to end. They joined a cult. There was no way to explain this to Sam, without her friend having a good laugh.

It had been a hard life, in the mountains, surviving on life skills with no electricity for four years. She really liked having heat and TV. A part of her never really wanted to get involved with relationships.

In the end, it was when someone sued the cult, that scattered them. Of course, she wasn't really close to her parents. She'd wanted to get back to books and an education. She hoped she never had to skin a deer again and having her own bathroom was divine. But she could see these were things Sam didn't worry about. Sam had a boyfriend.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Josie & Duncan

about last night

Honestly, Josie didn't know what her mother wanted to hear, but then again, maybe she knew what her mother wanted to know.

"It was a sleep over." Plain and simple. If only, it could be that. However, she might as well be sitting on the bottom of the ocean right now as she played around with the granola on top of her vanilla yogurt. She wasn't hungry. It was all she could think to say about Henry. "So please, it was nothing." She frowned then as if she need'n say more.

"I see." Josie wasn't sure if her mother bought it or not. She cleaned Carrie's messy breakfast face, but Carrie reached for slices of banana to push in her mouth. Duncan peeked over the newspaper as if he really didn't want to be a part of this odd conversation, and yet Josie knew he was curious.

Her head, was heavy with sleep. But she couldn't. She'd tried, but only thrashed around like she might be possessed. What had came over Henry?

What had she done?

She knew it was a fluke of some kind. It wasn't real. She kept rolling those words over and over in her head and only one word came to mind. And she knew she couldn't say it at the breakfast table.

They would never ever speak of it. She nor Henry. After all, she'd driven him home before her mother even started breakfast. And he'd waved bye, ever so hurried. Not even a quick kiss on the cheek.

Things were normal now.

Yet, it didn't feel quite that way. Not even now.

Just one little thing

"Well, had he ever slept over, before?" Duncan wanted to know after Josie went upstairs, back to bed. She had a headache. Or so she said. He didn't like the looks of this. After all, he was suppose to be on top of this. He was the acting father, wasn't he?

"Not that I know of." Camille gave him a look that it was possible.

"I just didn't want to scare the poor boy." Duncan wasn't sure how to handle it. "Maybe, maybe you should call his mom."

"I dunno." Camille winced.

Duncan slightly scowled. "Look, we can't just do this NO PARENTING thing. Remember, used to be with you and ..your ex..and what happened to Josie?"

She sighed as if she didn't have time to relive the whole thing.

"She's graduating. He's graduating. And for a fact..I know Henry would not..ever...." She looked at him as if there was no need to explain. "He's very gay."

Duncan slightly gritted. "I never liked having Sky here, you know." He crossed his arms.

"But..that's different. Nothing was really going on between Josie and him." She pressed her lips tight.

"She is your daughter, but you have to really talk to her ..before its too late." He informed her. "I never ..ever had a girl over when I was in high school. My old man would have kicked me out with a screaming match and maybe even a beating, too."

She swelled a frown.

"You, never talk about them." Camille then said.

"I pissed them off." He closed his eyes as if it was best not to dwell on it. "And we haven't talked since. I think it was Dad's way of saying he was done with me, and I wasn't to be a bother. And I wasn't."

Now Camille was sentimental. Naturally, he comforted her, right there in the kitchen. With a hug and a kiss.

"Its OK. Everything, turned out, OK. Didn't it?" He hugged her close, but she sobbed more. He guessed he was making a big deal out of nothing. After all, Henry was nothing like he was. Duncan had slept on every friend's couch he knew, back then. It was highly unlikely he'd ever succeed at anything, other than being somebody's drinking buddy. Sometimes, he did wonder how he ever got here, in all his warped thinking. Still, he'd never looked back. He'd never called home. And he wondered now if any of his family was even around. He wouldn't dare let himself go there. After all, Camille was the only family he needed.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

a clear view

Where did the LOVE go?

How was this even possible?

Well, Jude didn't think it would last.

Of course, no one told him anything. He knew Samantha should be with him by now. But she wasn't. No, she was with that guy who used to work at the library. Sky. The guy who lived down the hall from him at the boarding house.

It left a bad taste in Jude's mouth. He could have swore they might be siblings, but then again, they giggled too much around each other. They were in the livingroom watching TV while Jude hung back to dry dishes after supper.

 Funny, he'd liked that miserable look of hers. Now, she looked foreign to him. Ghastly, in fact.

He snarled his nose up.

"What's wrong?" Alo wanted to know.

"Nothing." Jude would try to relax his face, but it felt impossible in the presence of Sam and Sky. He wanted to believe it was purely platonic. He didn't take her for a girl who was that free. Of course, Jude was full of envy. How could Sky bounce back like that? After giving up a girl, Sky was bound to marry. Josie.

It just wasn't fair. If only he could sabotage this, but they might as well be glued at the hip.

a clear view


Samantha never showed Sky the text. She deleted it. She didn't want to see it again. She didn't want anyone to tell her what she'd done wrong.

After all, Sky was comforting with a certain kind of confidence she didn't know he conspired. He was like a breath of fresh air and she'd let him wrap his arms around her. And yes, it was warm and cozy. She didn't feel she'd found a stranger, but someone she'd missed for so long.

Oh, she'd been smitten the first time she saw him at the library. But Sky had a girlfriend then. And she'd noticed how he was with Josie. Sam guessed she didn't deserve that.

They were such good friends. Sammie always felt as if she needed to be considerate and kind to Josie because it was like they were an extension of each other, Sky and Josie. She admired that. She wanted to learn from it. Of course, Sam didn't know how. After all, she'd been part of the audience then. She hadn't seen a complete picture.

"But you two were good for each other." She told him in the car that day when he found her, not so long, after she got the mysterious text about Connor.

"I bet you say that to everyone." He smiled at her as if he knew what a kind person she was. "It started as a favor," Sky explained about this guy(someone who worked at the library before Samantha started working there) who used to date Josie... went into the Army. "And well, I dunno, it had been awhile since I..I'd been seeing anyone. I mean..I..I respected much. I did. I still do."

She'd watched his shaggy dark locks fall in his face, but she wanted to see his eyes. They were brilliant.

"Look, ever..really perfect." He told her, but Samantha went home with him, anyway.

Well, of course, she had sex with him. Nothing was going to keep her down. And it felt like the first time, but way better because, of course, she knew what she was doing now. She didn't know what to do with Jared (Connor's older brother) on that Homecoming night, so long ago.

It was as if he'd ripped her heart out then. Jared was swift. Almost a beast. Only she didn't complain. She probably should have.

But this was different with Sky.

Sky was thicker with brawn, yet he was a big cuddle bear who'd kissed her forehead long after and held her as if he were a constant anchor she could lean on.

Oh, she wasn't going to question it. No, she was going to live her own movie. And it wasn't going to be a horror film.

Friday, April 24, 2015

seeing the light from the rabbit hole

Seeing the light from the rabbit hole

Dax Reynolds always kept his word. Until now.

Yes, he recalled Bree ever so clearly. Or he thought he did. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. But he must have been on something... then.

God, he was the worst pothead at school, just like they said.

But, he'd never believed it..until now. Sure, he knew a lot of girls. They were just friends. Most were only in it for the weed. They were like a fan club. Actually, he didn't want to date them. They all had a history. A good many had had an abortion or two. Not all of them. Still, he wouldn't dare say it, but they were beneath him.

This Bree..though, she was awesome. Perhaps his equal. Or so he'd guessed... that night, out by the cornfields where the woods began. She couldn't be of this world. And there she was with that kid. It was really weird.

Yet..maybe he'd imagined..ALL OF IT... now. Maybe he'd just dreamed it all up. But he'd kissed her and well, some other things too, that he didn't want to dwell on. Not like it was a full blown one night stand. Still, it was enough, to give him ....wanting more. He needed to know this Bree Dalton. He figured out where she lived.

Of course, he didn't dress up all that much the night of Prom. Just his usual Heavy Metal Tee and skinny jeans. He was gonna wear a nice suit jacket, but it was in the backseat of his car.

Actually, he was awful nervous about meeting her folks. And then when that old man opened the door, Dax almost messed his pants. This was territory he didn't know if he was ready for, but then he reminded himself that Bree Dalton would be worth it.

Then he noticed the little girl behind the old man. It was as if his vision of someone vanished. She was just a little girl. A freak'n little girl.

There was a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was certain he'd throw up, and he did lose it when he got to his car. He could barely think. Tears in his eyes. A frightening and sad feeling. Dax went home that night, hid in his basement, and finally went to sleep with a little help to listening to crickets on his phone app. Just what kind of world was he making for himself?