facing fear

Ellie got Eric online and wanted to tell him everything. Everything that was going to happen.

Eric: No, I want to hear your voice. I don't want to see it all in words typed on a screen.

So they both got off line, and she called him on her cell.

"I can't believe this is happening," Eric said. "You're Mom wants to send you to Texas?" She could hear the rage in his voice. She could hardly speak.

"Only for like a month, or something," Ellie blubbered. "She says it has nothing to do about my hair or you," but Ellie didn't believe that for a second.

"We should just run away." Eric was suddenly calm as if he were adding numbers, and he was about to explain the plan.

"No, I can't." She choked up in tears again. "Its my great aunt. Somebody has to be with her. Mom said she can't go. And, she'd decided this already before she knew. Everything."

"Everything?" Eric's voice almost cracked.

"Not everything. She doesn't know. All right." She knew he meant the birth control pills which he actually had. She didn't even have them.

"But what does, she know? I mean, is it me? Is it because of me?" His voice was rising.

"She didn't say I couldn't see you or anything."

"Ok. ok..ok..ok." There was a sigh. "Jesus! This is freak'n me out." There was a pause. "Sorry. I have to see you before you go. I have to. They have to let me see you."

"I guess so."

"Are you gonna be all right?" He was concerned then. "So you're Dad will drive you all the way to Texas?"

"No, I'm taking the bus. Its kind of in the outback, so to speak. You know, its not like I'm going to Dallas or anything. Its far from the city. Actually."

"They are making you go on a bus! Are they crazy! Don't they care what could happen to you!" He fretted. "I'd drive you myself if you just have to go."

"I'm gonna be all right. I can take care of myself." She hated to hear him talk that way. She licked her dry lips then. She looked in the mirror. Ellie could really see the imprint of the scar he'd left on her neck now. She gasped. She looked like vampira who'd spent the night with a vampire. The bruise was purple with a greenish edge to it. She covered it with her dark hair then.

"I know. I didn't mean you couldn't. But I'm just afraid." He sighed.

"Afraid of what? That I'll miss you?"

"I'm afraid to be without you." His voice broke then. "God, now I sound all needy and shit, and I'm going to e-mail you everyday. I'll call constantly."

"I can't take my laptop. I don't even know if my cell will even get any reception out there, either."

"Shit!" She knew he was ready to throw his phone against the wall. "What the fuck! This is not fair. I hate them! I hate this!"

"I do too."

He didn't say anything on the phone for the longest while. She heard him crying then. Tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Look, we just have to believe this is gonna make us stronger." She had to believe that even if it sounded impossible and maybe a little stupid to say. "I'll write. I'll call if I can. It won't be forever."

"I should have been with you all this time, instead of waiting. I never wanted to wait. I didn't. I thought-"

"We'll be together. We will. Promise."

"OK."

Her mom was on the stairway. Ellie clicked off her phone.

"Are you packing?" Her mom wanted to know.

Ellie nodded.

"You look nothing like my daughter." Her mother said in a dull tone.

Ellie turned away and sighed. She packed more underwear from her drawer. A little bit of her so wanted to runaway, but she didn't want to make her mother anymore miserable than she was.

Ellie felt her phone vibrated then. She clicked into the text when her mother left.

XOXO
Eric