words and other troubles

What Ellie really wanted was sleep, but she was sitting on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor holding her stomach. She'd cried so much that she'd finally thrown up, but still she didn't feel all that much better. Perhaps a little light headed. The blue tiles were beginning to blur, and she kept going over and over in her head what had happened, what she had said to her mother and how she treated Eric.

Her teeth began to chatter. How could something so emotional make her so sick?

She felt more tears seep around her eyes. She blew her nose. She just wanted everything to be calm again. And she guessed it was, a headache had seeped in. Ellie washed her face. Maybe she needed a good cup of hot tea. Ellie didn't even know where they kept the tea bags in the kitchen. She was home alone. No Kyle yet. He was probably with Roxie.

Just as she got the kettle on, the doorbell rang. Ellie was sure it was Eric. She knew she had a lot of apologizing to do. But could she ever apologize enough?

It was Cory.

Ellie was a little shocked.

"Is Kyle around?" He asked.

Ellie shook her head, no.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Ellie shook her head, no. "I have a cold or something."

"You look pretty bad."

"Thanks, must be all those germs at school, you know," Ellie let him in. "I'm making tea."

"OK." Cory followed her to the kitchen.

"So whats up?" She got out cups as if she always had tea at four in the afternoon.

"Um, I was just hoping to catch Kyle, you know."

"You two still tight?"

"Not so much, really," He scratched his curly locks. "We've got health together, I can't seem to pass that class."

"So its a health issue?" She found the tea bags and poured the hot water. They sat down at the kitchen table.

"Not really." He looked away.

"Maybe I can help." Ellie shrugged. Although, her eyes lids felt like cement, and she really wished she could take something for the pain of this headache, but she knew sleep would help the most.

"I don't think so." He played around with the tea bag and added some sugar.

"Well, you could try me."

"Um, I see you and Eric, and uh, I'd rather leave you out of it." Cory winced a little and took a sip of tea.

"Leave me out of what?"

"Crap in my so called life."

"Well, are you, OK?" Ellie wondered if this had anything to do with what Eric had told her about Cory and a teacher.

"I'm just fine. Nothing is wrong with me." He sounded a bit irritated that she'd ask.

"Then what is it?" Ellie played with her tea a bit wishing she had lemon. Funny, she could never make hot tea quite as perfect as she wanted.

Cory pulled his hair back with his fingers. "You'll laugh, but you shouldn't."

"I won't." Ellie started to take a sip of her hot tea.

"I kissed Roger."

Ellie almost spilled her tea on herself then.

"What?" Ellie reached for some paper towels then. "Roger?"

"Yeah, he was depressed." Cory squinted. "I-I think I made him more depressed."

"I'm sure he's all right." Ellie tried to smile and to keep from laughing.

"I don't know what to do," Cory shrugged. "I thought he- God, why didn't I know?"

"You can't know everything." Ellie blinked.

"What if he kills himself over one kiss!" Cory blurted out.

"He's not gonna kill himself," Ellie shrugged. "He's Roger."

"But he's my only friend," Cory said.

"No, he's not." Ellie told him.

"It feels that way," Cory said. "And I ruined it!"

"Sometimes, you just need time." Ellie thought of Eric and what she'd said to him. She couldn't waste too much time about that. She really needed to talk to him. Now.

"He won't take any of my calls. I text him like mad," Cory said.

"You really like him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, don't give up, but don't expect anything, either." Ellie just said. "If it happens, it'll happen." God, why was she saying this stuff, Ellie thought. Eric might never talk to her again.