the grudge

Roger chewed at the inside of his cheek, trying to piece it all together. Trying to relax. Maybe let it go. But he couldn't. He squinted hard to get it out of his head, but the words were still there. What Eric had said. How Eric had found Cory with someone. And what they were doing. Roger slightly trembled. Perhaps it was the cold. Maybe it was his anger. He watched his breath come out of him like smoke. Roger kept gritting his teeth so he wouldn't have to talk.

"You're cold," Cory said.

"Just shut up." Roger barely let the words escape. "I don't care."

"Yes, you do," Cory shook his head. "You'll get sick."

"Why should you care?" Roger had been crying. He didn't want it show. His nose watered, but his cheeks felt like ice.

"Just listen to me, will you?" Cory remained even lipped. Roger looked at him, not really in the mood to listen.

"How could you?" Roger shook his head. "Do something like that, so random. You-you just-" He couldn't even find the words to talk about it as he squinted in disgust. He shivered then in the cold.

"I know it was a mistake." Cory came closer pressing his lips together. "I just wanted to know what I was getting in to. It wasn't like I was in love or anything with the guy."

"Oh really." Roger looked away.

"OK, it might have been the stupidest thing I've ever done. And it was a long time ago. Last year before school was out. It was just a whim and, and I wasn't ready. I really wasn't ready for something like that. Believe me, I wasn't." Cory was shivering, he grabbed Roger then.

"You're sure?" Roger squinted back tears.

"Honest, I never want you to have go through anything like that." Cory nodded. They kissed then, and Roger finally let go the idea that it was something he should hold a grudge about.