unsent letter #1 from Eric

Dear Ellie:

I'm doing my best to not think about you. Not be where you might be. It hurts so much just seeing you. I know I'll do something stupid so that's why I've decided to give you plenty of space. It'll take some getting used to. Really.

I just want you to know things have been quite sad with out you. I keep thinking about you. What I could have done to have stopped you that night when you ran after Elliot. But that would have been so ridiculous. The three of us. I guess. So awkward. You might would have broken up with me then and there. You probably would have. I'm sure of it now.

This is so tough. Because I love. You're more than just this girl who had the sweetest smile. There are so many things that come to mind when I think of you. A lot of it physical. Its just I really don't want to kiss anyone else. Know anyone else's scent. Its just you. You. And yeah, I know, I depended on you a lot. And I shouldn't have. I really should have known better. But I didn't.

I thought of you as the one who made things better. Even making me better. But I guess you can only do so much for me. After all...I'm a fuck up, as usual. You found me out. You probably knew all this for a long time, didn't you?

I'm sorry if I put you in any sort of- God, I don't know what I did, but I'm sure it was something. Wanting too much. Being a prat. Just stupid shit you shouldn't have to put up with. I know I'm not easy to love, but.

God, I want you back.

Miss you.
Love you. Always,

Eric