a quandary

Ellie felt as if she'd been put on the spot. She was wanting to chew her fingernails, but she didn't. She put another quick coat of black nail polish on her fingers. But when she looked at herself in the mirror of her dresser, she thought she as a complete wreck. Her hair was in a messy ball at the nap of her neck and her face was breaking out, sort of.

"Really, you look perfectly fine." Amanda assured her.

"You just think I'm a slut, don't you?" Ellie then blurted. Her lips were so chapped and she couldn't find her lip balm.

Amanda then handed over her fat fruity lip balm stick with "BRATZ" written across it.

"Here, it was cheap at Walgreens, you can have it."

"Thanks." Ellie opened it and spread it on her lips then.

"Look, maybe that's not such a bad idea," Amanda started. "Just dating, you and Elliot."

"But-" Ellie sighed. There was Eric. And she liked being with Eric. Only there was something else they liked doing together better than dating.

"Well, Elliot wants to play it safe," Amanda squinted hard. "He's almost 20. He can't take his chances. It would be really bad if...if he winds up on some pedophile website when he didn't do anything wrong. The other girls he's been with were older. Older than you."

"OK. I know. God, you make me sound like I'm the one who should be in trouble." Ellie couldn't look at Amanda as she slicked another coat on her fingernails.

"You kind of are. And it is Lent, you know. Maybe you shouldn't have sex with Eric."

This time Ellie gave Amanda a look that she'd said too much.

"What if that's the only reason you want to be with Eric?" Amanda kept staring at her.

"What?" Ellie winced.

"Could be, is that all you want your relationship to be about?" Amanda reached for her trusty Mentos gum then and popped one in her mouth. She chewed on it a few minutes and spit it out then in the trash.

"Look, I don't know why we're talking about this?" Ellie gritted.

"You brought it up," Amanda said. "And you know, you can't keep leading Eric on like this. Make up your mind."

"Like you've never had this to happen to you?" Ellie looked at her blankly.

"No, I'm not that lucky," Amanda gave her mock smile. "Boys don't fall all over me, like they do you. Granted, I've had a few mishaps, here and there. I don't regret them. And I know exactly how you feel about the whole sex thing. I do. A part of me just wanted to know what I was missing. A part of me just wanted to take my chances and see what happened, I guess. But I feel thankful that if I had to mess up big time, I'm glad it was with Kyle. I am. I can't explain it, but I feel safe with him. I do. And I don't know where that comes from. I don't know where he gets it." Amanda caught a laugh then.

"You're the lucky one," Ellie hugged herself then.