so blue

Kayla was not having a good week. First off, she'd heard about the engagement of an old boyfriend from high school. The more she dwelt on it, she realized how many in her class were married and some already divorced. She had to keep thinking that. She wasn't in that sort of mess. No, she was alone. Very alone with her boxes of  mac'n cheese.

She'd canceled her subscription of World of War Craft. She was trying to save money. So she read books. She worked at the library but had no time for books. Of course, folks at City thought that was all they did at the library. Read books. But she didn't explain to any of them how she actually worked. Her stubborn boss wanted books shifted. VHS tapes culled and killed. While of course, that silly Young Adult librarian who had once been in love with her, or so he said, ran off with some librarian from another library. It was all kind of ridiculous. But they were somewhere in Canada now. She hoped they didn't give him his job back, but they probably would.

She'd e-mailed Oliver about this, but he hadn't returned any of her e-mails or texts. She was probably boring him. He probably wished she would find someone else to bother. It felt that way. All sad. Eating cookie dough right from the tube for supper. Finally, she took one last bite. Looked at her cell, and thought this would be probably the last time she'd do this. Last phone call. After that, she would clean out the fridge or her cabinets. Something constructive or was that destructive?

No. Just forget him. She put the cookie dough away and got ready for bed. She brushed her teeth. After she rinsed her mouth, she looked at the cell phone, wondering if she had turned it off yet. She went to check. It was still on. No messages. Nothing.

She turned off the light then and got in bed. Laid there, trying her best not to be restless. But she thought she felt a slight shake as if something might be under her bed. Kayla jumped up and stared at the bed. She was too mad to cry.

Instantly, she called Oliver.

"I think something is under my bed." She just said.

"What?" He sounded caught off guard. She said nothing then. "Well?" He finally said.

"I dunno why I called." Kayla blurted.

"Its all right." His voice was calm. She hadn't a clue what time it was, but he sounded awake.

"But I wrote you a letter." She told him.

"When?" He sounded puzzled.

"E-mails. Like a novel, in fact." She sat down on her bed.

"Fuck." Oliver sounded a bit pissed. "Sorry. I don't have access, anymore."

"You don't get it on your phone?" She winced.

"No. Funds are low. Bare necessity right now. I'm afraid." He sounded really sad.

Kayla began to pace. She was thinking she'd send him a care package. She wondered what he needed. Her brother in the Navy always wanted white T-shirts and socks.

"What do you really need?" She wanted to know.

"Oh, nothing." It was quiet then. "You realize." He sighed then. "I don't even have a photo of you."

"Just give me your address and I can-"

"Look you don't even know what I look like." He could barely say. Kayla thought he might be crying.

"I don't care." Now she was crying. "Please, just give me your address. Will you?"

"Sure." The way he said it, she was sure he was expecting her not to write him.

"I'm going to send you.....something." She didn't know what, exactly. She wanted to get know him better. Kayla knew she already wanted him.