Friday, November 19, 2010
tell me now
"What does she mean?" He found out he and Doyle were going to the same church. Except Doyle was actually going to the services. Lon just found himself wanting to go there and pray.
"You're both scared." Doyle told him. "I think you're even too scared to come to church."
Lon guessed he was. Perhaps being a sinner was part of it. He just needed a little faith right now.
"Its not that I feel lost." Lon informed him. "I just want to be strong, if anything should happen."
"I see." Doyle didn't ask him if he meant death or anything specific, but Lon could see he understood.
"So does Roger come with you?" Lon wondered if this place was Doyle's secret too. It was an nondenominational church out in the burbs.
"Not yet." Doyle slightly smiled.
"Does he even know?" Lon wondered.
"Well, I just don't feel like explaining it to him. Its-its personal." Doyle told him.
Lon understood that. He did. But was he using this just for an excuse. Some time to buy instead of getting down to the problem. More so than Ellie having to take it easy now with the pregnancy.
"I got..I got this call from Reese." Lon finally managed to say. "I have a daughter with her. I don't know what to do. Really. I don't even have a picture of her." He shut his eyes tight, imagining Hannah, but thinking of what Ellie looked like when she was small. Did Hannah really even want to see him? "Reese has decided she wants me to get to know Hannah. See, Reese is engaged and her fiance thinks she's being unfair, keeping Hannah from me. I told her it wasn't a good time. Not for us. Not yet. I want to be here for Ellie. She does come first. What do you think?"
Lon looked at Doyle as they sat there in the empty pews.
"I really hate keeping this from her, but I just want her to be OK, right now. I dunno what to do." Lon winced then, thinking how miserable he could make things, without even trying.
"Maybe this isn't a good thing to tell Ellie, right now. But you have too. You do." Doyle told him.
Lon just nodded. He only wanted what was best for Ellie and the baby.