Friday, July 22, 2011
at the bottom
Derrick thought he just needed to be in a motel room for a couple of days alone, to catch up on some sleep. It wasn't easy getting rest at home. Yes, he'd done as Asa asked. Help out with the newborn. Except his bones ached, and he was sure when he looked in the mirror..he was pale as a vampire.
It was just a lot more work than he knew. Seriously, he thought Amanda would be different. But she slept a lot.
"Who do you think you are, Sleeping Beauty!" He couldn't help but lash out. He knew Asa wouldn't talk to her that way. Somebody had too. At least Pearl was sleeping at the moment. So was Amanda while Asa was at work.
Thank God, he'd had driver's ed when he did. If he'd done it now, he would have slept through it. Naturally, all Amanda gave him was a pout. She wanted to be alone. So did he, but he couldn't. He wouldn't leave Pearl alone.
In spite of her ups and downs at night, he'd become quite attached to her. He probably held her more than any of them because he was the one home with her.
"I have a good mind to just take her to the basement with me." He finally told her. At least he wouldn't be climbing up and down the basement stairs. This was not the summer he envisioned. After last summer, he was certain he'd be in a rock band, somewhere. But everything was different now. And these little dark eyes of Pearl's, looking at him for some sort of normal.
"You can't do that." Amanda reassured him. "I'll take care of her."
"Well, do it then. Before its too late. What's the matter with you?" He hated to sound so demanding, but she hadn't gotten out of bed for the last week or so. "Is it about the baby?"
"No, its just me." She swelled in tears. "I didn't get the job at the high school. They-" She seemed upset about that. "I just expected..I'd have it. But ..but I have to be at two different middle schools this year." In service days were coming quick. And, she finally admitted it was all too much to take on.
"Seriously? This is the hold up?" Derrick glared at Amanda. "You being a middle school music teacher?"
Amanda gave him a sad shrug.
"Well, quit thinking about it! Right now..isn't about you...This is your time with Pearl. You gotta make the most of it." Derrick couldn't think of anymore to say. He just didn't want to see himself ever like Amanda, but he couldn't let her be dependent on him too. "Look, I'm going to have a job soon. You ..you have to take care of Pearl. Now." His eyes lit. If this didn't work, he thought, maybe Pearl would be better off with Elliot. Yet, a part of him wanted to take care of Pearl. Somebody had too.