looking back

It was just a routine checkup. But it was hardly routine. Rox wasn't sure if Amanda needed to know. But then again, maybe Amanda could help out with the kids.

"The cervical cancer is back." Rox was straight forward about it. She'd been through this before Jai was born. She'd had a course of treatment that ended well.

"What do you mean, its back?" Amanda winced hard as if Rox was speaking in a foreign tongue to her.

"They caught it in time, before." She nodded. She tried not to let herself be upset. She was thankful everything had worked out. She'd just about forgot. Things were looking so well, now. But suddenly, she felt the blame game once again. Although, she'd been through so much counseling. Not so much about cervical cancer, but the emotions she'd dealt with since she was young. Perhaps this was another side effect of abuse. One, no one ever thought to talk about. But she wouldn't get into it with Amanda. "Or so I thought. I'll just go through treatment. And..and if that doesn't work..I guess I'll have a hysterectomy." She thought of the way Jai talked about her history getting cleared.

"That can't happen." Amanda shook her head, as if she must be mistaken. "You're so young."

"Its OK. I've got Jai." Rox was proud of him. Proud of that fact.

"But..but don't you and Kyle want kids?" Amanda choked up as if she might cry.

"We have kids." Rox reminded her. "Besides, I could be a foster Mom one day." She wanted to give back, somehow. After all, she knew what it would take to be a good foster family.

She knew this bothered Amanda, but Rox kept telling her not to worry. It would all work out, somehow.