a life like that

How come Willow was a good feeling like an electronic pop song that Jules couldn't get enough of? He wanted to hate that about her, but he couldn't. She was the only real friend he needed, and he couldn't stop thinking about their evening.

She'd brought him a pillow that night they went out. It was plaid and very much what he loved. It was a green plaid too. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around it now. It smelled of Clinque's HAPPY perfume too. It had to be the best present he could think of having in a very long time. Well, there was the damn hat, which he wore. She told him it gave him character.

He felt himself gritting smiles when he was out with her friends. All the way through dinner at the Italian place, they had to endure the bickering of Topher and Lynsey. Willow kept smiling as if it were an inside joke.

Finally, on the way back, it suddenly occurred to Jules their little outing might upset Jonah.

"But it wasn't a real date." Willow kept clarifying.

"Yeah, and those are just so real with Jonah." Jules scowled.

"He thinks so." Willow nodded.

"Does he?" It was hard to get a vibe that Jonah might be in love with him. Jonah was just... so freaking cold. Not that Jules was wishing any of it to be real. He hoped it would be over with Jonah, but then if it were, he wouldn't get to see Willow. Or would he?

"Look, he doesn't even have to know." Willow smiled as if she could keep a secret.

"I think you like keeping this from him." Jules slightly teased.

"Its never been easy being his sister." She finally admitted. "Mom's been there for him, through all his little tantrums. He's so normal now. Really. I know she used to think it was her fault, too. She even wanted me to go to boarding school, so I wouldn't have to put up with him, but he's my brother, and well, I can't avoid him."

They sat there in her car on the empty street next to Oliver's. He knew he should leave before it got to cold. But as it was, the windows were fogging up. He stared out the car window, thinking was there something going on between them? He hadn't even leaned in for a kiss, even if was on his mind.

He licked his lips. They were chapped, anyway. He didn't even have kissable lips, anymore.

"You still haven't told me, everything." Willow looked at him.

"Like what?" He winced. "Are you sure you're not a therapist?"

"Come on, where were you born?" She looked so happy with the question.

He shook his head, no.

"It couldn't be that bad." She smiled more.

"OK, I was born in prison." He laughed as if it were no big deal.

"You're kidding, right?" She laughed with him.

"Nope, that I'm not. Me, mum was busted on a drug deal." He told her the truth.

"Was she on drugs?" Willow wanted to know.

"No. Not then." Of course, she had. He barely remembered it. He guessed she hadn't been on drugs then, but then he'd always been hyper and needed to work most of his issues out with lots of enduring activities. Maybe that's why it worked out so well with Oliver, who kept him to the grind, daily.

"What about your Dad?" She wanted more answers.

"Dunno. Reckon he was a thief or a dealer. Some such criminal. It was just the two of us. Well, she was friends with Ian's mum. She cleaned houses for old folks, mainly. But then she went back to the University. She keeps saying when I make up my mind what to do... then I'll get a degree, too." His eyes watered not wanting to think growing up with his mom was ever miserable. Of course, he'd done his damndest to make it miserable for her.

Why did Willow want to know everything about him? Jules knew he'd said too much. What if he never heard from Willow again? He thought now back in his room..alone. Well, he had her pillow. She had the crocheted hat.

Just then his cell rang. Jules was back in his room, alone,  hoping it would be from Willow, but it was his mother.

"Hey, babe." She sounded as if she were drunk.

"Where are you?" It had to be the early morning hours there.

"I'm in Spain, on my honeymoon!" She laughed.

"Are you serious?" It had to be a joke. His mother never traveled. She didn't even date.

"I would not kid, you." Her voice was full of laughter. "I found me self a Greek God."

"In Spain?" Jules winced hard. "What are you on, Mum?"

"Its love. Just love, darling." Jules envied her a bit, but still surprised.

"Just love, huh? Good for you, Mum. Good for you." Jules felt more stuck than he ever did. He felt he were working harder than anyone. It took work to stay sane. He wondered if his mother even knew that about him. Not that he'd bring it up now. But really, he was beginning to think her life was a vacation, without him.