Sunday, November 27, 2011
"Come on, now..you seriously couldn't see that coming?" Ste said it almost like a joke and that hurt Jonah more.
"What do you mean?" Jonah winced hard. He would have had a complete melt down if Ste hadn't been here. He would have thrown things, broken things. He just couldn't control himself, sometimes. But Ste was here, and he didn't want to dare show that side of himself.
"The way he looked at your sister." Ste looked at hm blankly as if Jonah should have known. "She's crazy about him. Jules can't get enough of her."
"I don't know what you mean." Jonah squinted hard. A part of him wanted to tell Ste to shut up. He gritted, shaking his head...no.
"Not everyone is going to like you, Jo." Ste patted him on the back. Jonah did his best to be still. His reflexes for such a moment usually meant him tensing more.
"What did I do? Why does this keep happening to me?" Jonah slipped slowly away from Ste's hand as if he'd some how slipped away before a spider might grab him.
"You have to let it go. Possibly, it wasn't you at all." They were hanging out in Jonah's massive kitchen, looking at cereal boxes. Only, they hadn't decided. Jules and Willow were on his mind.
"No. It was me." Jonah was certain. "I'm..I'm too sensitive."
"Well, you might have a point there." Ste squinted in agreement as he picked up a box of cereal. He shook it gently as if to find the weight of it.
Jonah stared at Ste then. They had such a beautiful friendship when it came to letters. It was so different that he was here. Why couldn't it be exactly like he pictured in his mind. But he knew Ste was engaged with some girl he'd known since school. But they broke up and he guessed that's why Ste really showed up.
Jonah wasn't hungry. He crossed his arms and plopped in a chair at the kitchen table. Tears emerged which he detested even more. Jules was making him sick.
"I suppose he made me think of you." Jonah let slip.
"What?" Ste cracked up. "Are you serious?"
"Quite..serious." Jonah managed to say with his face a mess. Even his nose was running, but he didn't care. "I guess I lie to myself... must be it." He felt he could hardly breathe now.
Ste brought him coffee.
"You should come back with me. I dunno, why you even left before." Ste told him there was a still a job for him at the recording studio. It might have been only an indie music studio, but Jonah was missed. "You adored that job."
Jonah looked up at him and bit his bottom lip.
"I would just be a burden." He shook his head, no.
"That's not true." Ste assured him as he sat at the table with him drinking black coffee. "I like having someone on staff, who's not going to party the night away. You're the most organized bloke, I know."
"I know." Jonah nodded. "But..but you'll be seeing someone else, and..and I know I can never have that." Just when he thought the tears went away, his face was still warm with emotion.
"You telling me, its my fault now?" Ste's glare swallowed Jonah with more emotion. He finally nodded.
"If you don't want to write me, anymore." Jonah sighed.
"You know, I couldn't help myself. I love hearing from you." He was serious. "I could still get my e-mails from you, even if you were there." He reminded him. "I love your words. You're so expressive. You still write about that mystical beast?"
"I might." Jonah cleared his throat.
Ste just smiled. "You're coming back, and you'll show them, you'll be fine, on your own."
Jonah nodded. He just wasn't sure if his mother would go for it.