Saturday, March 3, 2012
so simple and true
Josie's parents were never home. That explained, everything, didn't it?
It started out that they would take turns living there, after the divorce. It was best. She'd still have her old room. Same school. No moves. It would be perfectly, all right. Then came Mom's breakdown, her boyfriend from South Africa, that she couldn't live with out. Her Dad got an offer he couldn't resist in Chicago. After while, she saw less and less of them.
However, her Mom was home and took her to the clinic, thinking it might be a good time to think about being on some sort of birth control. It was one of those appointments Josie never got around to getting too. Yet, her Mom was really calm about it. Then again, it could have been the antidepressants she was on. More than once she'd wanted Josie to try some, or at least a sleeping pill.
Josie wouldn't hear of it. At the moment, Josie really hoped she heard back from Topher. Honestly, she could take care of herself. But there was the whole matter to talk this over with, with Derrick.
"I hope you don't mind, that I told Topher first." She knew it was an after thought now. Josie was so sluggish when she found out, and Topher had just texted. It was an impulse she regretted. But she'd texted him, and of course, hadn't heard a thing since. But she and Derrick were face to face. She was home, and her Mom was on the phone with her boyfriend. Probably not talking about her.
Derrick, of course, was mute. It was as if he'd lost his voice.
"So, its..its not your problem." Josie said ever so matter of fact.
"Not my problem?" Now he was hurt. "Yes, it is?" Suddenly, he wanted to know how far along she was. Did she feel well? "How? How are we going to do this?" He paced about, not letting himself be happy.
"I don't know." She felt as if she was suppose to know everything but she didn't. There was a crib in the attic. She guessed it still worked. But, she still saw herself with Topher, not anyone else.
"You'll keep it? Won't you? Please, tell me..you'll keep it." Derrick broke down.
"Why wouldn't I?" What was he going on about? Now she looked at him hurt. "Nobody's taking my baby."
"But.." He reminded her. "Its mine, too."
"Oh." Yes. This was true. Not that she had to come right out and say it. "What do you want to do?"
He bit his bottom lip. He needed to sit down and think then.
"Getting married is out of the question." He shook his head, no.
"Good." Thankfully, they were on the same page.
"But..." He sighed deeply as if they needed a plan. "What am I suppose to do?"
Josie looked at him as she had no idea.
"I really want to help." He wanted to know what sort of insurance she had.
"I dunno. My dad's I guess." She told him.
"I bet, not for long." His words made her nervous. What was he talking about? She didn't want to talk about this kind of thing.
Derrick bit at his thumb nail as if he needed to talk to someone, besides her, about all this. Suddenly, it felt like a big deal.
Josie was starting to feel more alone than she ever thought possible. Except, she wasn't completely alone.