Saturday, June 30, 2012
a little bit of your soul
"Good, you didn't change your phone number." She said first thing.
"Yeah," Roger was thinking, why hadn't he? But then again, he might not have ever heard from Amber, again. It was a shock. Of course, he wondered why he'd never tried to call her. Maybe it was best not to think about that now. He was friendly, but wondered if there was any place they could talk in person. If they did, what would they talk about?
He couldn't help but want to see her, again. He hated this feeling. He didn't want to betray Ryan, but this was something he had to do.
"How about we..meet for lunch." He thought the park would be nice. It would be a public place, but not a crowded lunch spot.
"That would be nice." She said she could do it. She was in town.
Next thing they met up to buy tacos at the taco truck by the big fountain on the river. It was a little awkward. Not sure what she'd talk about. Instead they crunched on tacos and drank sweet iced tea.
"I'm trying not to hate you, so much." She finally told him.
Roger guessed he understood. "Well, I never hated, you." He promised. "I know I put you through, a lot. I..I don't even know who that person..is.. anymore. You know, me..with you." How could he tell her that she'd brought out the worst in him. He believed that now. Yet, he felt responsible. "I understand..if you want to..still hate me. But, I..I guess I thought..you found what made you happy, and..well, you know, let the past be the past." He shrugged.
"Yeah, let the past be the past." She nodded as if she understood. As if she knew exactly where he was coming from. And then she told him about the abortion.
He listened. He thought he did. After awhile, he watched her mouth move. Telling him, how this was part of the healing process. Suddenly, it hit him deep in emotion that she'd came here to personally kill a little of his soul.
Roger honestly felt wounded by her words. She did truly hate him, after all.