Saturday, November 10, 2012
Moments of Max
Seriously, Daisy thought she couldn't throw up again. But she did.
Her body was so cold. She tried to go to sleep. And when she did, there were Max's expressions, all annoyed. Angry with her.
They used to never fight.
He wouldn't admit to it. Not that he'd ever hurt her. It was that look he'd give her when she told him he thought he was better than everyone else. How come he wouldn't come to Cedric's with her?
"Because, you'll have more fun without me." He'd only said. He hadn't told her not to drink, not to smoke. Instead, he'd let her go.
It was all his fault. She wanted to believe. If ..if he'd only told her to stay with him. Not to go. If he'd only loved her. Showed her.
Before she knew it, she was back in the bathroom again. When would this stop? Stupid Morning After Pill.
Derrick was being nice to her. Well, as nice as Derrick could be. He'd give her a gentle pat on the back as if he was only checking to see if she was still breathing. Ever so often, he'd say quietly, "You're going to be fine."
But she knew she wasn't. She squinted hard.
She'd lost her virginity to Van a few weeks ago. It was sort of like knowing there was a full moon on the calender, except she'd somehow missed it. She wished she'd thrown up on him, but she didn't. It felt like a plunge into deep murky waters, and she'd somehow survived. A little achy.
Maybe she'd best get on the pill now. If she ever survived this. Maybe she should quit her job and stay in her room. For good.
But she'd close her eyes, and she'd see Max. A part of her missed him so, but she knew she'd messed up. He was too good for her. She knew that now. She knew the truth and she didn't know what to do about it.