Thursday, May 16, 2013
There is a wait so long
He kept watching Shan, all nervous, so tense.
"Just, what did he do, to you?" Fish winced as he watched Shan on the couch. Fish still held on to Keegan as if he might be a safety net, but the toddler was heavy and soon Fish let him go, to wonder off to his box of toys not far from him and Shan.
"It was...nothing..nothing ...like.." Shan kept shaking his head. He squinted with disgust. "I'm sorry..." He sighed. "I'm sorry..I'm like this." He took a breath. He talked about how he couldn't be like this at home. He didn't like it there. "They..they would never understand..they'd say it was my own damn fault."
Fish saw he was crying. He plopped down next to him. Before Fish knew it Shan was crying on his shoulder. Fish meant to be rigid, but as soon as he felt the weight of Shan's head on his shoulder he felt like a marshmallow. Still Fish held on as if he needed Shan to talk through what ever this was that was going on with Henry.
"At first," Shan murmured. "I thought..I thought, he was just clowning around. We were in his room, and he's just goofing around. You know, he's a real goofball." Shan caught a breath then. He was still crying. Fish's T-shirt was wet with tears. "And..he starts to hit me. Like nothing, at first. But he won't be still, and the hitting just gets harder..and..and." Shan broke away and looked at Fish. "I told him to stop. He tells me to shut up." Before Fish realizes it, Shan's back to leaning on Fish's shoulder. He rested his arm around Fish's waist. Fish kept still as he let Shan have another good cry on his shoulder. "I really didn't know if..if I was going to get away from him or not." He finally whispered.
Fish pressed his lips tight. He looked to see if Keegan was OK. Of course, he was. Keegan got up on the couch to show him a rubber ducky. He wanted Fish to kiss it.
Fish faked a grin and kissed it as Keegan put it to his lips. Suddenly, Fish wasn't sure who he was babysitting. It was highly unlikely Shan was going anywhere.
Fish felt stuck, but in a good way. He wanted to be here for Shan, but he wouldn't dare think of gaining anything from it.
"Look, you can go to my room." Fish guessed it would be OK.
Luckily, he got Shan to his room, and he crawled into Fish's bed as if it was the only place that might give him some peace. Fish brought him a Tylenol as if he might be getting the flu. Fish guessed he could stay the night if he wanted.
Of course, Keegan never let Fish get very far. He practically had his arm wrapped Fish's leg the whole time.
About then, he heard Syreeta come home and a few minutes later his Mom was home too. Then his Dad arrived. They congregated in the kitchen.
Fish shut the door behind him still holding on to Keegan. He wasn't sure what to tell his parents about Shan.