Lola hadn't let herself think about the baby just yet. She couldn't. Not really. She was so busy with classes and productions and set designs.
What if she was hurting the embryo, already? She winced hard trying her best to stay hydrated.
She hated the thought of the bitter end, swimming around in her head as she walked home, a dorm room for single students.
They shouldn't even be here. They were married, but just hadn't got around to looking into married student housing.
But there was time. She could wait. See what developed. What if it didn't happen? She wasn't that pregnant. She couldn't get attached. Even if she wanted too.
She made her way back. It felt like such a long walk, but finally she pushed off her sneakers and flopped on the bed and dreamed of home. High school. All her old friends. Even if for a while, she didn't really believe any of them liked her.
Why was she that way? She felt all sad that she hadn't been happier in high school. Sure, there was Crosby.
Suddenly an avalanche of tears hit her so hard. Her face flushed with tears. She thought for a moment she couldn't even breathe, but she was. Yet, it wasn't much relief to all the emotion she held inside.
Why hadn't she let Crosby be the one? Her one and only?
Her throat was parched. Maybe she really was sick.
About that time she felt someone hugging her from the back side. Instantly, Ash spooned his way around her. He held her so, as if she was the best thing this art school had to offer.
"Are you, Ok?' He asked, but then said, "Everything is going to be OK." He kissed her cheek. "We'll just move home at the end of the semester. We'll defer or whatever. We can still do this, you know?"
More hot tears escaped and she felt so tired and miserable.
"What do, you mean?" She finally managed. "Move back to Omaha?" She could barely say.
Ash fussed with her hair. She barely noticed he was braiding it.
"No, Silly. We'll go live with my parents." It sounded so set in stone.
"Should we be thinking about this, already?" She sighed. Unsure, going to England was the perfect answer.
"Why can't we?" He hugged her close, clutching her breasts as if he wasn't going to give them up to the baby, anytime soon.
"I dunno. I don't want to think about that right now." She didn't want to sound mean. "I haven't even told my mother."
She knew her mother would be so angry. Lola was damned, either way.
"But me mum, already knows. I couldn't keep it a secret." Ash told her.
Lola closed her eyes, wishing she could just sleep through all of it and wake up with a baby.