Corina didn't know what she was doing. Yet, she was on her way to the library, but as she passed one car then another in the street light...she felt as if everything was closing in. What if she died tonight?
It felt like a quake insider her as if everything was falling apart.
Her eyes were burning from crying so much.
Oh, she hated the idea of being so emotional. What was wrong with her?
She steadied her hands on the stirring wheel. She needed to snap out of it. But..what if..what if...it didn't last with Joey.
Perhaps, she was dreaming she was in love, but really wasn't.
She wanted to hate him. She did. But their was a romantic idea that she needed to let him go..because, she doubted he ever loved her.
She knew he could never actually love her..the way she loved him. And..and it was time to pull back. It was time. Time.
She made it to the parking lot and set in the car for the longest time. The heat faded as the subzero temps seeped in. Corina shivered.
It was five minutes til closing at the library. She got out and headed up the steps.
Howie was coming out of the library.
"What are you doing here?" She looked at him as if he might be her stalker. Hadn't he had a thing for her..not so long ago? Of course, she wouldn't give him the time of day then, but..maybe..maybe..she should now.
"I returned a DVD," He said, looking at her as if he was waiting for her to say more.
"Oh." She couldn't help but look up at his dark puppy eyes.
"Are you OK?"
"Um.." She could barely say.
"What?" She looked at him blankly, thinking he wanted to take her out.
"They're selling hot chocolate." He pointed to the circulation counter. "Maybe..maybe they still have some.."
"Well, see ya." He gave her a wave and was on his way.
Suddenly, she felt as if everything was slipping through her fingers. She slightly frowned, thinking of what Vada had told her over the summer. "Only, you can make yourself happy. Don't depend on anyone, but you."
She sucked in a breath, and guessed she would wait this out with Joey, just to see where it would go.