just a fangirl

Poppy regretted not talking to Amira sooner. How long had it been? Amira was in a full-blown relationship now with a British guy. And Poppy felt like a child who would never figure out if she could find a real boyfriend.

"I was so in hopes that I wouldn't feel this way, when I saw Alfie again, but this is killing me," she loved and hated this emotion she carried around with her about the first guy she ever met in the university cafeteria. She didn't want to eat. Yes, he had that effect on her, and she really did need to lose the extra twenty-five pounds she'd gained during quartine, these recent weeks. "Do you think he even knows?"

"Doubtful," Amira shrugged and told her she needed some CBD oil or something to calm her down. Alfie wasn't that great to get excited about, according to Amira who was eating most of the popcorn Poppy made when she came other to watch Netflix.

Poppy nodded thinking Amira was probably right. Of course, he didn't talk about seeing anyone, right now. Of course, he hadn't asked if she was seeing anyone either. He had his bedroom. She had hers. Neither had crossed the other's threshold. 

True, she was a little nervous about him being here, but he'd been quiet and he worked most afternoons. When he was home, he studied while she stumbled around him and never said much of anything.

"He did say other day I was awful quiet," she told Amira. "He mentioned how I used to never shut up around him and he wondered if I was OK." Poppy winced a frown, and finally confessed to her closest friend, "I don't think I'm OK."

"You know, there is a whole lot more than Alfie, bothering you," Amira reminded her that Poppy was close to graduating at the Uni. Did she even know what she might do careerwise?

It felt to Poppy everything was on pause at the moment. Still, she felt so lonely and undecisive. But she had Alfie right here.

She'd always wanted to date him. She was sure he was the one. And now she was light-headed and intoxicated with his voice and everything about him. Naturally, Amira said that wasn't healthy at all. Somehow, Poppy would keep herself from being too giddy, but she might be her own worst enemy.