in another lonely world

 It felt like a lazy summer. Still, Valentina didn't want to go back to the doctor. They would want her to do something. 

"Well, I think you should go to a different doctor," Matty and even her mother had said. But Valentina kept putting it off. She didn't want to hear any more bad news. At the moment, she felt as if she might as well have been Joan of Arc. Yeah, she was pretty much Saint material this summer. If there was such a thing.

"What? You're not having sex?" Even Rosie thought that was impossible. It was hard being her friend. They were certainly not on the same playing field. Rosie had no worries. Instead, she'd invite them over ever so often to have dinner with her and Chance. 

Valentina felt she was slumming through the summer compared to Rosie and her cold salads and cookouts. Truly, Val didn't want to feel this way. She'd done her best to crochet and make her little sock creatures for the Bakery. There was a time when she'd given all the money to some cause, but not this year. It was for her.

Jools helped a little with the crocheting and the sock creatures. He'd been on standby in the past. Even he could tell how painstaking it was, getting back to crafting, for her. Of course, he had said, "This is what makes you happy."

"Does it?" She now asked. She'd gone along with him all smiles. After all, she didn't want him worrying about her. They'd crocheted a few baby blankets for Ivy and Dan's baby that was on the way. She really wanted to do things that she could feel this void with. But it was all so sad. She did her best not to think about herself.

Of course, she'd forgotten when she had her last period. It didn't seem to matter, she sensed it was something not to be alarmed about. Sure she talked to Matty daily over the phone. He would text practically every four hours. Maybe, he knew she was depressed too.

Sometimes, she'd forget to eat. She could hardly stand the smell of the bakery lately. No way would she eat nor drink anything there.

"Well, maybe it's COVID." Matty texted first thing about her not wanting to eat. She didn't think it was that. It couldn't be that.

So there she was staring at Rafe who looked like he should be happy and not so sad. Of course, she didn't have a thing to say that could cheer him up. She wanted to tell him not to worry about Lily.

And when he'd said back to her, "Another brother?" She thought of a candy bar for some reason. It made her almost laugh and then it hit her hard. Was Matty becoming that Another Brother? It was the last thing she thought of before she collapsed on the floor.