Smile, breathe, and go slowy

 

A part of Maisy felt shell-shocked. How in the world did it come to this? Each day she felt she was trying to piece the puzzle together. 

Oh, if she would have never listened to Nico. She guessed that was where it began. So much hope she had then about a future working costumes on Broadway. Of course, it was off-off Broadway where she'd stayed in a loft with Nico and his crew. She didn't really get to do anything that costume related other than having to clean the dressing rooms and the theater. 

It was horrible to think she'd stooped so low, but she felt she was helping out someone who wanted a baby at the time when she met the couple. She had no idea who they were. The first visit went well. They liked her. They seemed so pleased to know her and she felt OK about this plan of theirs. 

It wasn't long until she thought she might be a lab rat of some kind. All those watchful eyes. And their insistence that she was going to be OK.

Now she thought of Cade working with all those lab rats. Of course, they were silenced. She wondered if someone wanted to silence her and baby Akira. 

She couldn't sleep sometimes, due to the nightmares. She knew she'd been wronged, yet she felt she had done wrong too. When would it ever stop?

But at least she did feel it was home with Cade. She still couldn't believe it herself, sometimes. And little by little it was getting better. That is if she didn't think too much about the past. 

Maisy wished she could reach out to her friends, but then it might get back to Harry and it was best to leave that alone. She'd made a pact with Cade. It was just the two of them and Akira. No need for anything else. 

The apartment was small, but enough room for the three of them. She hadn't found a job yet, but it felt better to be at home with the baby.

Why was it so ongoing with little fears? Maisy wanted to be brave. And still, some thoughts lingered how it  might have been if she'd never gone to New York City. She thought of Vanna often. Sometimes, she would talk to Akira about her friend.

"I can't believe we were even friends," Maisy remembered how hard Vanna helped her with the jewelry making. Actually, Vanna didn't have much talent, but she followed instructions and Maisy always had the pieces laid out in layers. Yes, Vanna had helped in so many ways to know what friendship could be. And of course, Cade who was always questioning her, but encouraging her too.

Of course, the phone was long gone that Maisy once had full of texts from Vanna, all about Vanna's pregnancy. She had wanted to tell Vanna so much, but she couldn't. She didn't want her worried, or judging her. She could just hear Vanna now, "Are you out of your mind!"

She guessed she was because she punched in Vanna's phone number (she knew Vanna wouldn't change it. She'd had that phone number since she was fifteen).