Happy Holidays! Our Christmas

Maddie: Okay, we decided to find each other a book and read what we chose for the other.

Boone: The catch, it had to be from 5 Below! (Both burst into laughter).

Maddie: I wanted something rom-com. So I got something similar to an Emily Henry book.

Boone: I'd rather have nonfiction. And she got me a book on Urban Prepping.

Maddie: I mean, we got ourselves other things, like..I love the puffer bag he found for me, and he also gave me lots of girly things. She smiles.

Boone: She got me a squishy big banana and some blind boxes of some graphic novel characters. And of course, we got matching tees from THE WICKED section.

I suddenly see what my future could have been if I hadn't found you

 

"I dunno, we both feel so stupid," Alfie was still too hard on himelf and not knowing Zoey was pregnant all this time. "I mean, she just kept this schedule going..thinking we needed ..to you know.." He squinted hard hoping Gage wasn't even listening him talk out loud at their first grill of the season while an Easter Egg Hunt was in with Gage's friends and relatives.

"Stop, already," Gage tended to the burgers on the grill. The boneless chicken breasts sizzled. 

Alfie took a sip of the Bubbly drink which was just carbonated water. A part of him wanted a real beer, but there was life to worry about and he was still getting used to having his mother around who was off with the ladies in the kitchen. They'd survived dinner with her and the adopted brother he didn't know. But still it wasn't easy.

He looked up to see Gage's brother with someone. "Is that a date?"

Of course, his kids were here. They were running around with Alec and Henry and Josie's kids.

"Yes," Gage shrugged. "Even I'm surprised. He met her at the bowling alley." Gage went on to say something about a fire and how he rescued her.

"Wow," Alfie shook his head. "Leave it to Carson to be a hero."

"I dunno. I'm not asking."

"Probably for the best," Alfie sighed.

"What's Boone up to?'

"I think he was going to spend Easter with Maddie's family."

Alfie missed him.

"I thought you said Maddie's family never celebrated," Gabe said, looking at him.

"Well, they are welcoming KC's girlfriend to the family, and Maddie thought they should go." Alfie guessed there was a first time for anything.

Of course, Alfie found Naoki rather grumpy. Naturally, Zoey told him he was the one being grumpy. Alfie sighed, wondering how he could get out of this funk. After all, he would be a Dad soon. He looked up and saw Boone and Maddie walking toward them with a picnic breakfast.

"What are you two doing here?" It brightened his afternoon.

"It was just brunch, you know," he shrugged. "I thought I might surprise Mom."

"Mom?" Alfie looked at him puzzled.

"We made her some sugar-free cookies. Hopefully, they are OK for her."

"Oh."

"I brought you lemon bars," Boone smirked.

"Now we're talking, but maybe I'll save them for breakfast," Alfie knew he'd over eat today.

"You do look a little pregnant," Boone assured him.

Maddie took the basket and went to see what was up in the kitchen. After all, it was a beautiful day to be outdoor with bubbles floating about and the laugher of children filled the air.

Holding on to what I'm feeling

 "Can you explain it to me again?" Gage's wife Nora wanted to know about his brother Carson.

"Oh, it would take too long," Gage squinted as if it she didn't really want to know. They were in their bedroom. The kids were already asleep and hopefully, Carson was too, in the basement. "Look, he is a good brother. We -" He pressed his lips tight. "Lets just bring it up on what he's had to go through with my mother Clare. He took care of her when no one else would. And," he sighed. "He always wanted to do the right thing. He falls in love hard and then he can fall out of love too. But this thing with Brit. Well, he's helped her raise her kid and their kid and well, there is Katherine."

"Katherine?" Nora looked at him as if she needed to start making a list for Christmas. Gage got out of one shirt just to get into a tank. Nora was already ready for bed in her cozy pajamas. She fluffed a pillow and got comfortable. Gage got in and they cozied together.

"Yeah, he-" Gage sighed. "Don't bring it up, OK." Gage wasn't sure where his daughter was, other than being with her mother. He told her how Carson was seeing someone before he met Brit. Back then the young woman told him he wasn't the father of the baby, but later he found he was. 

"OK." Nora nodded. 

"I mean, really, I'm not any better -" Gage thought of all those times, and the talks he had with his brother about Alec. "I guess it is hard to move on when you've been together a good seven years or so."

"Yeah, he has a little boy," Nora remembered.

"And Theo." Gage nodded, even if he wasn't Carson's son he had raised him as his own. Gage thought they would all get together, even if that meant Brit being here too, and have a little Christmas even if Gage didn't want to see Carson's ex. "I hope, he'll just take his time. Think this out and-"

Of course, Nora mentioned Henry and Josie who were family too. She thought Alfie and Zoey should come because they were like family too. 

Gage really didn't want to think about it. The hours were long at the post office. It was getting cold. Flurries were about, but nothing was sticking. Just when he didn't think he had a cold, the post-nasal drip started, but his wife was a pharmacist and she was on it. 

Yet this thing with Carson, Gage wasn't sure he could do anything about it, but offer his brother a place to live. After all, it was Carson who found him all those years ago in Foster Care when his mother kept saying Gage was dead.

When you don't meet a chancer there'll be days like this

 Gage worked it out that he could have four days off in a row. Yeah, it took some doing with the Post Office, but he promised he wouldn't ask for anything else since it seemed subs were practically mail carriers these days so there weren't that many as they'd hoped.

It was going to be a very low-key Thanksgiving. He and his family had spent a Friendsgiving over the weekend at Alfie's. It had been a fusion of Italian and Asian food, but it was perfect and a good time with Alfie's friends. No alcohol, but lots of games and even some crafting for the little ones. 

The plan was to have dinner at Henry's (his cousin) and then spend the day with Henry and the kids at Gage's house while the women went shopping on Black Friday. 

And then his brother Carson showed up, unannounced and without his wife. 

Of course, Gage wanted to ask him what he was doing here. He hadn't heard from him in ages. He was a fireman out in Grand Island. Their motto had always been "No News is Good News."

Carson looked out of sorts. Somehow, he'd quit his job when Brit said she'd gotten a job in Florida. 

"And then, well, we didn't move," Carson shrugged and spoke something about all the hurricanes there. Although, Brit didn't get the job she said she did at a hospital. And it had been downhill ever since.

"Well, couldn't you get back on?" Gage was glad he hadn't left the state. He knew it would be like starting over for him somewhere else.

"We got a divorce."

"A divorce?" Gage winced. He hated to tell him that he always thought Brit was a little flaky. "Are you OK?"

Gage gave him a half hug. He guessed he could let him stay through Thanksgiving. 

"Does Mom know?"

"Not yet." He shrugged as if he didn't know how to put the puzzle of his life together. Gage knew his brother's pride. They both knew they never counted on their mother for anything, and god knows where their dad was. But his brother had always been there for him and now Gage knew he needed to be there for him.

There are flowers in my heart

 "Oh, stop worrying about Boone," Gage did have a baby to tend to. The infant was so tiny. He wasn't used to this, but he'd had some all-nighters to get used to. And now he was at the coffee shop with his six-week-old baby girl and Alfie to the rescue. Only Alfie sat there a bit unconscious and Gage was struggling with the diaper bag and a baby.

"Well, he and Lily are worth fighting for," Alfie said about the matter.

"Did they break up?" Gage looked at him blankly as he put the awoken Ava up to his shoulder. Of course, she spit up. He knew she didn't like breast milk in a bottle. But he didn't hurry to clean it up. Chili arrived with a bunch of napkins and cleaned the mess. He thanked her.

"Not officially." 

Alfie was in a pout as he went back to his creamed iced coffee.

"Some things, you just got to let alone," Gage told him. "Look, you think I got any help from Henry when I was at my wits end-" Oh, he couldn't even say her name now. She was just Alec's mother who signed the paperwork to make Nora his mother. "I was in high school. Boone is much older. There is no..no baby involved."

"Gawd, I hope not," Alfie cringed at the thought.

"It'll all work out," he looked at baby Ava and said sweet nothings. He knew who he had to keep an eye on and it wasn't Alfie's problems with Boone.

"Did you take the test yet?" Gage asked about the state pharmacy exam.

"Not yet," Alfie shrugged.

"See, you are just using Boone as an excuse," Gage told him he needed to snap out of it. He was certain his best friend was his own worst enemy. "You aren't just doing this for you. It's for your family." Gage reminded him Alfie needed to stay on track.

"Well, thanks a lot for putting the pressure on me."

Alfie looked at him wide-eyed. Gage sighed then as if Alfie might as well be going in for major surgery.

What are you really doing?

 "What's happened to you?" Mercer went to visit Rafe. Finally, he found a time that Rafe was actually there.

It was hardly a room you could call home. There wasn't even a kitchen. Just a bathroom with a shower.

"Nothing," Rafe of course wasn't happy to see him. "Did my brother send you?"

"You know, how he wants you to come home. You can't hate him that much?" Mercer winced. "We've all been worried about you."

"So what," Rafe wouldn't look him in the eye. "I'm going to find a job and I won't need any of you."

"Why not do something noble. Go join the Navy or something," Mercer said as he looked at the small bed in the corner. Was he really even living here? Above the old town bakery.

"The Navy?" This cracked up Rafe. "I just need to find something. Ruby will know, I'm trying." He knew being at the bakery wouldn't last forever. "But if I learn to drive the bakery truck this summer and watch a little YouTube on truck driving, I'm sure I can be a UPS guy."

"UPS guy?" Mercer couldn't help himself. "Are you kidding me?" He laughed.

"What's so funny," Rafe was even lipped.

"You gotta be on time, bro? When have you ever been on time for anything?" He hated to be the bearer of bad news, but Rafe couldn't keep up with anything. Mercer knew. He'd heard it all from Cade. The kid couldn't keep up with his keys or assignments. It was a miracle he would graduate.

"Well, Mr. Smarter pants, what will you be doing at the University when my brother gets to live there for free for the next four years?" Rafe said he knew Mercer's grades weren't exactly fabulous. "Do you really think my brother wants to stick with a nobody like you?"

Mercer rubbed the back of his neck in thought. He didn't want to think about that. He really wanted to just stay at the library. Henry, the adult service librarian was helping him look into some online classes. He was aware that it was difficult to secure a well-paying job position at the library. That might take a couple of decades.

"Look, I think you'll want to go to college some day," Mercer said.

"No, I won't. I just need a job. A good job." 

Rafe was determined. And nothing was going to change his mind.

From now on, our troubles will be miles away

 "You told Slater!" Vanna looked at Koda furiously. She practically stomped his foot while they were waiting in line at the new Mexican restaurant to meet up with Harry and Maisy.

"Sorry," he winced, "But not sorry, Harry and Maisy know about the baby, why' can't Slater?"

She gave him the eye. "I haven't even told my mom." She hugged herself. She wasn't even showing. Koda thought she looked lovely in his sweater. It seemed after the news of the news of expecting, she was now wearing his clothes. 

"Why are you like this?" He pointed out that all their friends were happy for them.

"Well....they're not having the baby. I am." She snapped. 

"We're having the baby." Koda reminded her, but of course, she told him technically she was the one having the baby.

"Just calm down," he told her as if he already needed to be doing breathing lessons with her. "You can't be so moody." Of course, she gave him a fat lip and he thought she was all of four. Really, he felt he was already going through parenting lessons.

"You don't like the vitamins. You don't want to drink water. Thank God, you like milk," Koda found himself in a tizzy. "Remember, it's not all about you."

"I know." She told him she peed enough as it was. She wanted to go to the bathroom all the time.

"You promised no more sodas," Koda looked at her as if she was doing something behind his back. He vowed to only bring home water and they were weening off coffee in the morning. Just one cup a day.

"I'm not," Vanna yelped. About then Harry and Maisy showed up. They brought gift bags. They were having a little Christmas tonight. Thankfully, their number was called and they soon found seats. 

"Are you doing OK?" Maisy asked.

"Of course, I'm fine." Vanna was in a huff.

"She's fine. She still kicks in bed." Koda smirked. Harry almost laughed but Maisy gave him a harsh look.

"Are there certain things you can't eat?" Maisy wanted to know. She was all festive dressed up in high heels and to the max while Harry was dressed down, naturally.

"I can eat anything I want," Vanna informed her. The salsa and the large chips were put on the table. Vanna took one swipe of the salsa with her chip and choked. She excused herself to the bathroom.

"Oh, you really are my own Kris Kringle," Nora smiled at Gage while they were cuddling in the livingroom, all alone. Yes, they were getting ready for their Ugly Sweater party, but she wasn't sure anyone would come. And she was OK with that.

In her eyes Gage was her prince from a far-off land. Still, she knew he made a lot of kids happy this season bringing them packages, especially when Amazon needed postal help. 

"Yeah yeah, you say that now," Gage smiled back as he had his arm around her. Thankfully, he had worked out his schedule that he wasn't working every day. He did have a little vacation time coming. "I don't know if we should have done this." 

The cheeseball was laid out, there were all sorts of snacks, even fudge. But no alcohol. 

"You know, our friends will be here," she stretched her neck just a little. It was best to just relax. 

"But you are normally not like this," he knew. 

"Well, Alec is at Henry and Josie's," she sounded like he would be at a party too.

"No telling, what he'll get up to with his cousins," Gage reminded her a babysitter was watching the kids there while Henry and Josie would be at the party. Nora knew they would reciprocate by having their kids over for New Year's. Of course, there was Alfie and Zoey's wedding to think about too.

"I'm glad they are so close," she said she was glad Gage's cousin was such a good friend.

"Oh, can't say we were always close," Gage cracked up. "I think once upon a time he  hated me."

"I don't believe that," Nora winced back with a laugh. 

"Well, let's just say a lot of things changed me for the better," he nodded. "And maybe Henry had a lot more to do with that than he even knows." He told her he was glad they were close. It was always good to be friends with family.

As it Was

 

"I dunno," Gage really wanted to say NO to Alfie about going to the lake, but his cousin Henry said Alec could stay with his family. They wanted Alec to sleep under the stars with them in the backyard. Something about having a telescope from the library that Henry wanted to try out.

"Why not?" Alfie told him, they were going. "I need you there."

"But why?" Of course, Alfie didn't have an answer for him.

Truly, it was a lovely place. and there were campers with refrigeration. Were they spending the night? Gage started to ask and then he realized why Alfie wanted him there. His dad was now with Boone's mom. 

Gage couldn't help but smile about it. Naturally, Alfie hesitated.

"Now see, I'm seeing where it comes from," Gage said ever so quietly to Alfie as they were walking toward them.

"See what?" Alfie couldn't understand.

"You are exactly like him." Gage looked at Alfie.

"No, I'm not," Alfie said ever so quickly as he sighed and put his best smile on.

Gage did his best to hold in a smile. Truly, the man must have fallen in love as easily as Alfie did. Of course, Gage had to wonder if Gage's dad could go the distance and he knew this must have been going through Alfie's mind too. 

Alfie gave his dad Ross a hug as well as to Boone's mom, Janine. Ross and Janine. They had names. They weren't just connected to Alfie and Boone. There was the camper that was left by Ross' friend and Janine and Ross had brought their own too.

Oh, it was news to Alfie. Gage could tell. He kept grinning. Alfie kept grinning. His dad got out the beer the girls went for the canned wine and Janine talked about how it was already getting dark earlier.

"Just where do the days go?" She asked. Zoey and Nora both smiled and gave her a nod. Naturally, there were chips and dips, even a cheese and sausage board. 

"We'll make S'more later," Janine told them they should have brought the kids. "I can't wait to be a grammy, you know." She looked to Zoey who instantly looked bewildered. 

It wasn't long until they went inter tubing. Of course, Janine mentioned the bacteria in the water and how it could kill a child, even dogs. "But I haven't heard anything about it lately."

Gage blew a breath. Of course, she didn't tell any of them any of this until they came back for supper. All was calm and they ate the grilled chicken breast and eggplant. Later Alfie wanted to know how this all happened.

"Oh, you mean about the camper?" His dad smiled.

"No Dad," Alfie looked a bit perturbed. "You and Janine?" 

His dad put his arm around Janine. "We've been talking for quite a while now. We just can't stop calling each other. First, it was all about Boone, then we talked about you. Even talked about Oakley from time to time. Then we decided to talk about ourselves and you know, we like talking in person too. I don't know when it happened, but I'm glad it did."

"Sometimes, I just think I'm in the way, you know," Boone shrugged. Lily shook her head, she'd never seen him this way. So bummed after their evening with her Dad's new family. He was so gloomy.

Sure, he'd been Mr. Right when he was chowing down on hotdogs at her dad's and laughing with the little ones. He was totally adorable. Evidently, he had no time now to be extra charming back at his place. 

He didn't want to go back to her place. Her grandmother was on her cruise so they could have the place to themselves. Oh, that was definitely a no-no. Besides, there was Phil and Lexie. "We'll do fireworks with them." He'd practically smirked. 

But Phil was at Lexie's and evidently, they might have been doing something other than fireworks. She could tell it made him a bit peeved.

"What happened?" Lily pulled him back to the couch, practically on top of her. She hadn't meant to. 

"Alf found out that our dad and my mom are together," he looked like he might cry so she gave him a hug.

"I thought that's what you wanted," she practically whispered in his ear.

"I might have said that, but when..when people get together..then..you know, they break up." He pulled away and looked at her blankly. He might as well have said, "And then you're done" or even worse the D word that she didn't even want to breathe.

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I wish you'd stop thinking that way. You can't be that miserable," Lily told him.

He sighed. "I guess it's just all catching up to me." He nodded and said he was just overthinking. Before she knew it his head was in her lap. "I just don't want to see my mom get hurt again." 

Lily nodded as if she did understand. He rested as if he might go to sleep. Lily nursed her bottom lip. Were they moving forward or was this a big emotional meltdown? Or maybe he was just going to sleep.

She moved. Her leg was falling asleep and yet she wanted to go the distance, but she wasn't a pillow.

Boone wrapped both arms around her and sighed. "Are you going somewhere?"

She cleared her throat and said she needed to go to the bathroom. Of course, she didn't know where it was. He pointed down the hall and set up scratching the back of his head. 

Of course, Lily had to snoop through the bathroom cabinet. Finally, she found the mouthwash and washed her mouth out, and then breathed on the palm of her hand wondering if she was minty-fresh.

Oh, they'd kissed. Usually, it was only when he was about to leave that it would happen. Not that she was nervous about it, but how could it be prolonged? They never kissed in the car, but they held hands the majority of the time. She never remembered it that way with Rafe. No, it was a race with him. Boone was much slower. Still, half the time she was wondering if she was supposed to be doing something. She knew she should ask, but who. 

Finally, she came back to the living room. "Did you want to sleep over?" Boone winced.

Lily thought she lost her hearing so he had to say it again.

"I don't think Phil's coming back," Boone said. "It's just us."

She thought he might have smiled. Lily inhaled a cough. He took her hand then and lead the way.

When you finally decide this is home

 Gage was dragging, but still, a part of him felt great. Especially, to go home to Nora and Alec. Of course, this meant a packed dinner to the ballpark where someone was starting baseball. It was a place for many sports that wasn't too far from Nora's. After all, she had signed him up and he was playing ball with his cousin. So they would meet up with Henry and Josie and well, it was a nice evening.

Then of course, Alfie would call while at the game and before Gage knew it Alfie and Zoey would show up with soda and popcorn. 

They cheered on Alec too. Really, it was a cozy start to summer. It felt as if everything was settling in. And if he let himself, he felt at home with Nora. Yet, he still felt lost, wondering if he was doing anything right.

"Oh, you think too much," Alfie told him. "You two are fine, and you know it." They sometimes just hung out in the garage trying to play mechanic.

"I don't know," Gage shook his head. "I feel like I might not be doing enough." 

"What do you need to do?" Alfie laughed.

"I'm afraid she thinks I'm a freeloader of some kind." Gage sighed with a shrug.

"Have you two talked about this?" Alfie gave him an Alfie knows best look.

"We talk enough," Gage told him. He reached in the garage fridge then for a couple of sodas.

"Oh really?" Alfie kept looking at him as if he doubted it. "Just not about the good stuff."

"The good stuff?" Gage's forehead wrinkled as he laughed.

"Yeah, just stop worrying will you, it'll give you more time to think what the good things are and just maybe ..um..a kiss or two would help too." Alfie's smile was open as he took a sip of rootbeer.

Gage was closed mouth. Why was it so hard to make a move with Nora, he thought. He never remembered it this difficult back when he was a teenager.

Now I know what a fool I've been

 

"I really like her," Alec said about Nora when Gage got to Henry's for Christmas' left-over dinner.

"You like her?" Gage practically winked as he was going through Alec's bag of goodies and toys. Of course, Alec was waiting for Gage to open his presents. "When did you meet Nora?" Now he felt bad that he said he'd been to her house because Alec wanted to be there now. Alec made it sound as if Gage was going to live there.

"Oh, when you were with your friend." Alec looked at him as if didn't he remember? "She's a really good cook and she's really funny."

"Is she?" Gage felt he'd missed something. He didn't get that vibe at all from her. He sighed as if he guessed he'd have to give her a second chance.

"I hope she had a good Christmas," Alec sounded concerned as if she wasn't going to get anything this year.

"Well-"

"You didn't get her anything, did you?" Alec looked at him as if this was all his fault. "She said she was waiting to date this guy that she didn't think would show up. She was sure he had other plans."

"Oh really?" Gage winced, thinking was it supposed to be him? Honestly, he hadn't been in a Christmas mood since forever. It didn't help that his mother who usually did Christmas was under the weather with RSV and a backache. 

"We need to make it right," Alec said.

"Should we? What could we do?" Gage never thought he'd get advice from a first-grader.

"Well, she likes basketball," Alec told him.

"Basketball?" Gage laughed. He didn't think so.

"We played a little after we ate pizza," Alec nodded, but it was inside Christine's garage where it was warm.

"Pizza?" Gage practically yelped wondering what else he'd missed.

"Yeah, we made it together," Alec told him with a big smile.

"And then you played basketball?" How was that possible?

"She's really good." Alec shrugged, even if it was only dribbling.

Gage sighed, about ready to say, "God! Damn it." Cause, he thought Nora had an attitude.

what is coming is better than what is gone

 

Cade couldn't wait to see Mercer after the library closed. Maybe they could pick up where they left off.

No, they needed to talk this out. They needed a heart-to-heart kind of conversation. Something that could settle this for once and for all. But then again, it felt like a game changer. No, he just wanted to go with it. Worry about that other stuff later. Maybe there would be no worries. Of course, his mind was all over the place. He could hardly alphabetize anything. And looking for books for middle schoolers, oh it was one headache after another. Of course, Mercer was hiding the whole time. What was wrong with him?

When it was closing time, it was dark and of course, Brooklyn was there with her dad to pick up Mercer.

Damn, if it didn't make Cade all the more angst. But he did his best to remain calm, trying his best not to be full of whatever this was in his heart and his body. Wanting to see Mercer. It was making him crazy.

Naturally, Mercer didn't look at him. He was all smiles when Brooklyn got there. Even a laugh or two. It made Cade a little squimish, as if he might lash out, but he didn't. He watched them leave together.

Henry asked if he needed a ride home. Cade said he needed some fresh air. Of course, a cold front had rolled in. But he was seething. He needed to be alone. He wanted to understand Mercer. After all, it was what he wanted. Wasn't it?

Cade pressed his lips tight. He didn't want to cry, but the hot tears came anyway. God, how did he become an emotional wreck so suddenly. He texted Mercer.

"Why couldn't we talk this out?" Cade pressed send. He waited. He knew Mercer saw it, but he didn't return a text. 

"Jesus, you can't leave me hanging like this." Cade told him. He walked on home alone. If only Mercer could text something. But he wanted to believe Mercer was thinking too. He couldn't possibly still be with Brooklyn. Could he?

What were they doing? He couldn't help but think they stopped somewhere for ice cream on a chilled night. Maybe coffee? Was Mercer supposed to be drinking coffee? So many things about Mercer was on his mind as he washed up to get ready for bed.

Of course, it always came back to the kiss. Oh, he knew he needed to make it real. His only chance. Last chance it felt. Never had Cade been so bold with anyone. How many times had he wondered when would have been a good time to kiss Mercer? It felt like it had been on his mind for years. And then to  have it happen so unexpectedly during a fight no less.

Cade winced hard. He knew he should stop thinking about him. He set his glasses aside and crawled into bed, thinking why wasn't it still so exciting. It felt as if it was already over. He did his best to calm down. Normally, he let no one trouble him, but this was Mercer.

It was after eleven before Cade got a text. He was thrilled it was from Mercer, yet to learn, "It was only an accident."

"I don't believe you." Cade shot back. Of course, he got nothing from Mercer. "Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you?" Cade finally confessed. Still silent. "It's always been you. Always."

they don't know what I know

 "What's happened this time?" Henry wanted to know. Oh, he knew Gage had spoke with Josie and well, it was summer and practically school time. Their kids were at the same school. So here Alec and Gage were over for the cookout.

Henry was in his shorts and wearing an apron. He was holding an orange juice seltzer which he offered to Gage. Really, Gage couldn't remember the last time he was over at his cousin's house. Maybe it was when he was with Haile and Alec was a toddler. 

Gage only smiled at Henry and promised he was staying out of trouble.

"Well, you're just as boring as me then," Henry said as he did his best to get out of a kiddos path, but of course, he was part of the game evidently. Finally, they moved out to the deck and Gage opened the can out in the sun. It was a good thing. It spewed everywhere.

Gage asked about Henry's parents. Henry asked about his. Before he knew it, they were all caught up. Except, "What is Halie doing these days?" Henry asked.

"Last I heard she was getting married." It hurt a little when he said it. He could sense it even from the corner of his eye. That life with her was over even if he and Alec were the remains. 

"Oh, you know you two were never completely happy," Henry smiled. Gage nodded although, he felt he'd let Alec down. After all, his mom had gone back to England to live with her college friends.

"I just don't know anything anymore," Gage finally took a sip of the no-calorie drink. "As if I ever knew anything in the first place." Honestly, relationships were never easy especially after being with someone as dramatic as Halie.

"Well, it's going to be fine, sooner or later," Henry flipped a burger then and carefully watched the bratwurst. 

"I guess I should have stayed out there with Carson and his family," Gage said his brother really liked Grand Island.

"But your mother needs Alec around. And Alec needs her too," Henry told him. Finally, he asked, "What is it you're not telling me?"

Gage wanted to crack a smile, but he didn't know an easy way to say it. "Oh..well..there is someone, but I don't think it'll work out."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd rather not get my hopes up. Certainly not Alec's." He shook his head, no. 

Henry looked at him with an open smile. He handed him a plate of well-done brats. He told him they needed to cool. The kids wouldn't touch them otherwise.

"She..she wants to meet Alec," he then said.

"Who?" Henry wanted to know.

"Someone I have lunch with," Gage said. Although, he felt he was gasping for air. No way would something like this work. "It's like..like she wants us all to go on a date or something."

"What's wrong with that?" Henry asked as he headed to the kitchen with the hamburger patties and Gage followed.

"It doesn't seem weird to you?" Gage winced. Even his mother thought it was sweet. Still, he wondered if Alfie would be all she would talk about. It was like he was her firstborn.

Where there is a will

 

Cade liked having Doris' advice. Suddenly, he wasn't so angry with Lily as he wanted to be about his brother.

 Although, sometimes, he wondered how it had really been for Doris when she was his age. He didn't think she immediately fell in love with Lily's grandfather. 

She'd had boyfriends while growing up. She said she had a great collection of pucca shell necklaces. It was a thing back then, evidently. She'd even dated a cowboy while she was a Freshman in college. She'd met him on a blind date.

It made him smile now of all her adventures in dating. Naturally, she said he could have that too. "If you like Mercer so much, then I guess you won't give him up, but have some fun. Make more friends." She'd told him. 

He really wanted to work at the library. Then volunteering was her suggestion. So that's what he did. Mostly, in the book sale room on the weekends. There was a lot more organizing going on than one would imagine. And he met her friend Carol who was happy to see he'd work the weekends. Of course, Cade saw Mercer from time to time and of course, Brooklyn wasn't far behind to bother him.

It still made Cade nauseous. Why was it her? What did Mercer see in her? But it wasn't long until he had his own fan club of middle schoolers. Of course, they were looking for Scholastic books. But generally, he'd suggest a cozy mystery. "It'll be good for you, and then you can give it to your mom for a gift." Cade was quite the salesman in the book sale room. He could reach high for all the classics and he came to enjoy the presence of those admirers. After all, Mercer was in another world.

And then, Henry came to him on a Sunday afternoon. Someone on the staff was leaving in August. Cade was excited. He was sure he might get a shelver position, after all. He couldn't believe his volunteering had paid off.

"Could you work nights?" Henry wanted to know. After all, Cade was still in high school.

"Shouldn't be a problem." Cade could see himself working with Mercer now. He shelved at nights Monday through Thursday night and Saturday mornings. Oh, it was like a prayer answered. He couldn't help but feel relieved. He'd win Mercer back, somehow.

"It's a clerk position," Henry then told him.

"A clerk position?" Cade winced hard. Was he sure what he was saying?

"Yeah, we want to try something new. We have had someone here for over twenty-five years and it would be best if she didn't work at night. She has night blindness." Henry told him.

"Oh." Cade nodded. He guessed he could work at circulation.

in the library stacks

 It was really happening, and a part of Henry thought he might lose it. Oh, it was hard to have Josie's faith that all would be well this summer with her oldest ten-year-old son Dylan staying with them. Never did he think this would haunt him until now. Henry always imagined Dylan would be where ever his adopted father was. But it had always been an open adoption. Didn't he remember?

Sure they saw Dylan occasionally. They celebrated the holidays with him usually a day before or after an actual holiday. Yet, the visits became fewer and fewer. And Dylan never called Josie on the phone. Maybe they hadn't called him enough either. But occasionally, they would go to one of his baseball games.

Henry didn't mean to be stressed. He was not supposed to be stressed. Of course, there was a computer lab and a Maker's Space to worry about in an old library that wasn't built all that well, to begin with. Naturally, he spent hours listening to patrons questioning him about why did the library need a new building. It was true, the regular patron never spent more than fifteen minutes here. Sure, it was great with a lot of character, but the bathrooms were bad, the electric wiring was horrid and a leaky roof didn't help much either.

Of course, he just smiled and kept going. What else could he do? He hoped the summer wouldn't be too crazy. At least, Josie hadn't mentioned any day trips or quick vacations. The library was short-handed as it was. Of course, there was always that fear of a bad aura surrounding him that might end up being a seizure. Granted, the epilepsy was practically gone. Maybe. 

But Josie was so certain his last big seizure had changed him. He was almost certain that would be the end of everything. He tried not to think about it now. After all, there were their two little ones with soccer practice and swimming lessons. They were always in a fuss about everything and now to add Dylan to the mix. It felt as if it might be too much. Yet, long ago, he'd imagined taking on this role. So, he needed that faith and it was somewhere in him to be a part of the family that Dylan needed. After all, Dylan didn't want to move with the only Dad he ever knew, and that dad had some drinking problems of his own after his divorce. Dylan liked it here and was looking forward to bunking with a four-year-old. 

Henry did his best to stop thinking about what this summer had in store for him. Only, the moment was quiet at the library and well, he would just do that walk around in the stacks. The library was almost in its last hour. 

Honestly, it was empty for the most part. The lady who needed help printing out her boarding pass had left. There was someone in the Young Adult area reading graphic novels and sipping coffee, but no one in MYSTERY, and the SCIENCE FICTION area was empty too. 

He strolled past the DVDs and CDBOOKS. Off to NONFICTION and there in the middle of it was someone laying on the carpet twitching.

Henry blinked. He felt as if he couldn't get to Mercer fast enough. He reached for his iPhone and called 911. This was the last thing he ever expected. He yelled that he'd called for an ambulance. It wasn't long until the blond teen from the Young Adult area came running. 

He was Mercer's friend. Cade said he'd never seen Mercer this way. It was like they were staring at a fish out of water.

"He'll be fine," Henry found himself saying. Although, he could be wrong. But he knew he had to remain positive.

Halloween is coming

 "I just don't know..." Henry said aloud as he looked out of the front window of their place. It looked as is Halloween was in full throttle, already. Someone even had a  unicorn skeleton in their yard. He grimaced.

"What? What is it this time?" Josie asked. He looked back seeing that she was watching every move he made. As if she could read his aura and know the hours before he would have a seizure. Granted, he hadn't had one in way over a year, but she always looked worried and that bothered him now and again.

"It's..it's this thing with Lynsey at work," He couldn't possibly smile about it, but he thought Lyn might be seeing someone. Henry hadn't spoken to anyone about it on staff at the library. After all, she did have a baby with Casey who lived right around the corner.

"A thing?" Josie winced as if she didn't know his vocabulary. After all, she'd gotten on part-time at a quilt shop and taught morning classes in 101 quilting.

"You know..like..like an affair..perhaps." He shrugged thinking he should be doing something with the kids who were off in the playroom putting hopefully a puzzle together without having a squabble. 

"Lynsey? Our neighbor Lynsey?"

"Well, it could be nothing." Henry nodded but he tried to think of a laugh, only he couldn't. "I mean..I just thought it was this nice patron, but then I noticed him dropping her off at work..." He hated to gossip yet he'd always enjoyed it. Unfortunately.

"It's probably not what you think it is." Josie was short with him. She yelled, "Kids, go wash up!"  

Dinner would be soon. He let her get back to the kitchen while he set the table. Really, there was nothing exciting going on. They didn't even like watching the news lately. After all, he learned everything on his laptop daily. What was the point?

The little ones scurried down the hall as if it might be a race, slipping and sliding in their socks. Naturally, there was a fuss because someone wouldn't turn on the bathroom light so Henry went to take care of it and made sure each actually scrubbed their chubby fingers. 

The oldest was in Kindergarten this year but acted as if she was already in middle school. The other a year or so younger. Both were bossy. 

Henry hugged himself. He could only imagine who they took after.

Finally, he looked up and saw Josie down the hall.

"Don't talk to Casey."

Henry froze as if he was in trouble already. 

"Just let me find out what's going on." Josie was even lipped, probably much tougher than he would ever be. Henry sighed as if it were a relief. He liked when Josie took care of things.

And the night, the night is yours alone

 

Mick guessed this was really happening. A memorial of some sort for Evan. He'd met Evan's friend Will. 

Naturally, Jools and he had a lot of catching up to do. Mick felt he was the third wheel, and it felt a little uncomfortable about what to do when Will and his significant other and their kids came to visit. He could tell they didn't know what to make of him, either. 

Mick made lemonade and got out the last of the Girl Scout cookies. He ended up playing with their five-year-old while she tended to the baby. Somehow, he felt he didn't fit in, but of course, Jools wanted him close by. He told them all about Mick and how he was such an amazing mechanic.

Of course, Mick didn't believe that for a minute. Sure, he just worked on cars, but he didn't think it was that amazing. He just did whatever his uncle wanted him to do.

He did his best to listen about Evan. Still, there was a lot he didn't really know. 

"So, they were really going to get married, but didn't?" He asked Will while Jools went to his room to find more photos of Evan.

"Yeah, I actually thought they did," Will said he didn't know when Evan changed his mind.

Mick nodded. He felt even sadder for Jools now. Maybe if they had, Jools would have Evan's ashes. 

"I'm glad he's with you," Will nodded with a smile.

Mick said nothing but nodded back and pushed a lock of bleached hair behind his ear. He really wasn't certain how to get through this. 

They talked then about how there was a room free at the library and there would be a gathering to say a few words about Evan. Afterward, they would plant a tree out front in Evan's name.

"I think Henry has it all planned," Will told Jools. There would be finger foods and the books on display that would be plated with Evan's name. Mostly books on mental health but some cookbooks and crochet books too.

Mick felt a little blue after they left.

"What is it?" Jools wanted to know.

"Nothing." Mick really didn't know what it was either, but he knew Jools still loved Evan. He'd just never thought it was like that. Of course, he wasn't sure how it was supposed to be either.

"We could still get ice cream," Jools lightly flicked Mick's forehead to wake him up. 

"Really?"

"Really."

They were in their tanks and comfy sweatpants. Jools said nothing of Evan as they walked down to Casey's and got ice cream.

"Don't you go thinking of suicidal thoughts," Jools said as they were walking back. Mick shook his head, no. He wouldn't. 

"I just have to do this for Evam, OK?" Jools gave him a serious look. Mick only nodded and ate at the vanilla cone.

"How about we go to Worlds of Fun," Jools smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Jools said he'd never been. Evan didn't like rollercoasters. 

Mick couldn't help but smile. He hadn't had anything to look forward to in a long time. Of course, they would have to wait until the place actually opened.

today is the day

 Lynsey somehow made it through facetime with Casey and his parents who were happy to hear the baby news. Perhaps, Casey was warming up. She knew he was a thinker and he sometimes went cold with all the overthinking, but he didn't get angry either. Although, she doubted he really liked the idea of her working at the library.

On one hand, she knew he was a protector. She'd seen this in the last few months. At times, she found him a little selfish too. Obviously, she knew what she was getting into with the likes of him. And she knew no relationship was completely perfect, but she couldn't see herself with anyone else and she was happy to be a part of his life.

And then out of nowhere her little brother Jory showed up. Lynsey couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him, possibly first grade. It was overwhelming, seeing him standing in the new book area of the library. Honestly, she wasn't possibly sure it was even her little brother.

"Oh, it has to be, he looks like your twin," Henry, the young adult librarian told her. 

She told him he was four years younger than her, but now a foot or so taller than her. They'd been split up when they were in an orphanage, many years ago. He'd been adopted by an American family before she was and she doubted she would ever see him again.

"Surprise!" It was a  long-awaited hug and she hugged him with delight, When she looked him over he told her it was all her father's doing. He'd found him and wanted them to meet. "Guess he had a lot of time on his hands during lockdown," Jory told her.

Lynsey smiled as she detected a British accent. "Oh, you must be well educated." She imagined him a scholar of some kind.

"I'm not that smart," he said he'd lived various places and had numerous jobs. As of yet, he hadn't started any University studies.

She asked if he had kids. He said no. Lynsey smiled with a nod. He was young yet, but she wanted him to have a family. 

"You're going to be an uncle," Lynsey wanted him to know. At last, she felt happy knowing Jory again, after all this time.

if not when

When Josie called, she sounded completely defeated. She'd just gotten home from the emergency room. Allie, her almost-four-year-old hit her brother with a piece of concrete in the back yard. They'd managed to mend the baby with surgical glue, but Josie was still having a hard time dealing with all the blood she'd seen.

"This is not supposed to be happening," she said she didn't even know there was concrete in the back yard. She sounded as if she were the worst mother, ever.

"Oh, it isn't easy these days." He was home with two teenage boys who hated each other most of the time and then he'd find the two of them playing video games or maybe trying to try something on each other they'd seen on world wrestling.

"They should know better," Xander assured her he was having a hard time, too. After all, he never saw his husband Ducky who was a doctor. They faced time about once a week.

"But it's me, I'm sure it's me," Josie said she found it hard to do anything, lately. She didn't want to make masks for the kids. A few weeks ago, she'd made a dozen or so for her mother's friends and Henry's co-workers. Now she was exhausted and didn't even have a mask in the house. After all, Henry did all the shopping.

"It'll get better," Xander told her. He knew businesses were opening, yet there seemed to be more cases of the viruses. It was time to accept the fact. The virus wasn't going away, and he would always be sanitizing more, cleaning more, protecting his family more every day.

Home is where the heart is

Easter came with a hail storm. Effy was glad she and Duffy spent some time with Henry and Josie and their family. Even if it was from a distance. At least the kids did a bit of an Easter Egg Hunt and everyone brought their own drink container and stood around in the spring warmth before the thunderstorms brought hail, sleet and cold.

If Effy let her mind wonder enough she thought she might go crazy, realizing she hadn't accomplished all that much, like starting her own family and yet she was happy to be a part of Duffy's. Although, she was certain it was too early to get married.

"I don't know if there is such a thing," Josie had shrugged at the matter. "You either want to or you don't."

Effy agreed. A part of her felt time was a ticking time bomb. But then Duffy hadn't exactly asked. Although, she'd moved in so randomly, giving up her apartment so easily after the arrival of her ex Jaime who had now gone back to Oregan and was fighting the virus and real hero, perhaps.

A part of Effy felt the terrible sort. A part of her was thankful they had never rushed into anything. But it was different with easy-going Duffy, who loved his job just as much as Jamie only he was working from home now and Henry was helping him with his videos to educate his students as well as adding a few sing-alongs at the library website.

Effy was still on the job at the library even if they were closed to the public. Still, even if they survived, she was certain nothing would ever be the same. As it was, she was learning to sew masks and she'd never sewn in her life.

Just the thought of her wearing one at her wedding made her a little sad.

Life as we know it

"I'm glad you two made up," Duffy informed Henry that even Effy was stressing out about her two best friends, Henry and Josie. "And, you know what that means? I get to be stressed out too."

Henry cracked a smile as they were both out doing yard work.

Actually, Duffy didn't think neither were much good at manicuring yards, especially when spring didn't feel like it was right around the corner. But it was the weekend and he wanted to at least make Effy think he was trying.

"You aren't so used to this family stuff, are you?" Henry told him there was no need to mow. Although, Duffy heard mowing in the distance. To Duffy, they might as well be chopping down trees.

He looked up to the bare sky on this chilly morning and noticed all the twigs in the roof drain. It was an unpleasant sight but Effy hadn't bothered him about it.

"Better call somebody about that," Henry said. "I'd hate for you to get up there and couldn't come down."

Duffy chuckled, glad that Henry was here or he might be bored.

"I used to be really good at climbing on roofs when I was kid," He was sure he could get the job done if it were warmer.

"Oh really," Henry looked at him as if that might be a challenge.

"Well, yeah, back then they thought I might join the circus or something," Duffy couldn't help but grin. He remembered how his mother would be so worried. "I was a very bad kid."

He looked up at the roof. He didn't feel so bad now. Perhaps it was love for Effy, or gravity finally got to him.