how's it going to be

Ellie found out from Lisa that her Mom would be home at the end of the week. Finally.

Still Ellie was hurt that she hadn't had a chance to talk to her Mom. Lisa harbored the phone. Of course, Ellie hadn't a clue what was really going on. Lisa got steamed when Ellie asked questions. Ellie was really sick of being left out.

There was this urge to call Leia. Ellie didn't know why. Maybe it hurt that Leia was ignoring her so much, lately. She'd pick up the house phone. Then put it down. No, she wouldn't call her. She'd be just as tough. Kyle would want her to be. Although, she didn't talk to him about Leia. She wanted to, but she knew what he'd say. "Just forget about her."

Why was it so hard to forget? At least she wasn't listening to rumors about herself at school. She just knew Roxie would start something. She always did. She was always saying things about girls at school. Most of it was never true, but occasionally, she told the truth.

Then the phone rang.

Ellie picked up.

"Hello." She kept waiting for something bad to happen. She wasn't sure what, but it was an odd feeling, like the air was just too stiff to breathe. It was as if her body was ready for the worst thing to fall.

"Ellie," It was Rex. She had to sit down. Why was he calling? What did he want? But she said nothing other than a small, "Yes."

"Uh, you doing anything?"

"I might be." She cringed. "Uh, not anything that important. You know, like a bath or whatever." She gritted her teeth then. What was she trying to create here? Flirting, and not even knowing it. "My Mom's coming home, so you know, lots of cleaning." She sang this tune that it was all work and no play.

"I was hoping to talk to you," Rex said.

"I can talk."

"Good, cause I'm right here in your drive way. Lets take a drive."

"What?" Her eyes lit as she peaked out the livingroom curtains. "I see." Yeap, there he was in his little metalic orange pickup.

This was so strange. Crazy strange to Ellie.

"Just a minute, " She finally said. "I'll be right out." She grabbed her shoes then. Ran upstairs to her sister's room to tell her she'd be out for a while. But she didn't say Rex's name.

Naturally, Lisa said nothing.

She looked down at her old Green Day T-shirt. It was stained on one side from the mustard and ham sandwich she'd just had after coming home from school. She smelled of pickles. She smiled to herself. Maybe he'd hate that.

"What's up?" She stood at his window. The truck was running.

"I don't want to talk about it here."

Ellie nodded with a sigh and got in. She didn't feel uncomfortable in his truck, exactly, but this was a bit unnerving. Still. What could he possibly want? She'd just have to wait to find out.

Rex drove in silence for the longest time out toward the lake. She kept staring out the window, thinking something awful had happened or it was about too.

What if it was about to? She tried to calm herself. Maybe he thought she was playing too hard to get. And that meant he wanted to get her. Ellie swallowed back the fear that he might want to do something more than take a walk at the lake. What if he was mad at her and wanted to drown her. Perhaps. She didn't want to have thoughts like that running through her head, but she felt herself taking gulps of air, imagining she was under merky water.

Rex seemed perfectly normal. But then her sister still hated him. What had he done to her? Was there something more she should have known? Why didn't people tell her things? Lisa was never straight with her. It was brutal being Lisa's sister.

"Lisa might be pregnant." Ellie said then, wanting to eat her words.

Rex looked over at her and didn't blink. Ellie bit her bottom lip. She had never wanted this to be true, and here she was telling Rex this private problem of her sister's.

He just nodded as if he didn't want to talk about it. Finally, the truck came to a stop near the fishing dock.

They got out then. Ellie kept her hands in her back pockets and followed Rex down the trail edging the lake. He hopped down a boulder and then looked up to her to take his hand. She awkwardly gave it to him and jumped down to his level. He continued to hold her hand.

It was a strong hand, but it wasn't like Kyle's, all moist and scratched on the edges.

"This is good." He smiled.

Ellie remained even lipped.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you, you know." He told her.

What was she supposed to say to that, 'I haven't thought of you at all.'

"Maybe you should stop thinking about me," Ellie said.

"This isn't about us." He told her then.

"OK."

"Nick's in some trouble."

"Nick?" This was about Nick.

"Tell me what you know about Leia," Rex said.

"Leia? She was his girlfriend. They broke up." Ellie shrugged. Still staring at his hand around hers.

"Would he have ever hurt, Leia?"

"Nick?" Ellie smiled. "She might hurt him, but I can't think he would do anything to her." Ellie remembered how cozy they were on the blanket at the river that time. They were happy. She was practically glued to him at school for weeks. It seemed. And then something happened. Ellie always thought it was her fault. She wasn't sure why, but now she guessed she had nothing to do with it.

"Well, she's not saying that, Ellie." Rex shook his head, no. "She's saying he raped her."

"What?"

Rex bit his bottom lip then. He had to sit down which meant Ellie had to sit down on a rock next to him.

"This is so freak'n complicated." He shook his head, no. "I finally get a brother, and then this happens." He was crying.

"I'm sure she's just mad, you now." Ellie didn't know what else to say.

"It just freaked me, because, I know he wouldn't. He couldn't." He kept shaking his head, no. "He's not like me."

Ellie winced looking at him now, wondering what else was he going to tell her. But she sat there listening. And thats when he told her everything about her sister that she didn't know.