chances are

Dear Diary,

This could be the worst idea possible. Us. Eric and me. Dating. I'm not going to set myself up to get hurt. I won't. But then again if I keep thinking this way, whats the point of this experiment. Even though, Eric didn't say that. He just thinks I need a real boyfriend. That's what I think, anyway.

Just how real does he mean? Crazy, huh? Me and a so-called gay guy. OK, he insist he's not. And I know things aren't all black and white. A lot of things in this world are shades of gray, I'm beginning to think.

By the looks of things, we are all we have this summer. Practically. Cory is off to the beach and then music camp. Kyle is pretty much avoiding me only he keeps showing up here to help my Dad with the chickens. Yes, they are laying eggs. Who would have thunk it?

Leia stopped by the house other day. She's going to Hawaii to visit some relatives. I guess it was her attempt to make up. Maybe. She told me the whole thing about Nick was her Dad's idea. That she didn't want too. She says she's made some bad choices, lately. I have her address. I promised I'd write or e-mail or something. I'm not sure if we can ever be close again. I just can't have her running my life. She said she wouldn't. Can't say we cleared everything up.
It might take me a while to warm up to the idea that we might could be friends, again.

No, I have not forgotten the Rex mistake. It still hangs on to me in just about everything I do. Its not that I think so much of him. Its me. I want to trust me. I just want things to be normal. I want to be calm. I want to be me. But it that who I really am?

Anyway, summer vacation is here. No summer job in sight. Gas prices are soaring. I'm going to have to be more thrifty than every. No vacation planned here. I'm going to try to make the best of it.

I hope this isn't a bad idea seeing Eric. I would have seen him. He's the only guy I know who has a car. Of course, I wouldn't have made him drive me places, constantly. He is fun. We are friends. I just don't know how I feel about him, anymore.

Later,

L