on a cloudy day

The summer reading program was up and running, and Ellie had plunged herself into it. She worked hours when other Junior Friends ditched their's for something better. It was good to be doing something and not dwelling on everything.

Her mother had been with her sister for the most part. They had long conversations, but it was always at a murmer, and Ellie tried to stay to herself or here at the library.

She was helping a tiny four year old girl color a picture while her brother was putting teddy bears in hugging positions. Ellie looked over and wondered if she was the only one who noticed this. It almost made her laugh. When she looked up from the coloring sheet of bugs, she saw Eric staring at her.

"Are you signed up today?" She asked as if that was her duty. She went over to the libraian's desk to look at the schedule and didn't see his name.

"No, no..." He blinked looking lost for words. "I thought you might need a break, so I brought you Taco Bell." He held up the bag then. She knew he knew there was no food allowed in the library. "It could be a picnic, outside."

As if she wanted every patrons to see them outfront stuffing themselves with tacos. She could smell the food, already.

"Ok," she shrugged. Maybe he was right, she deserved a break. There were some other Junior Friends there, and she knew she was possibly honing in on their time with the Young Adult Librian who just so happened to be young and looked a lot like one of the Jonas Brothers.

They walked across to the soccer field which was vacant. She supposed this was a good way for him to make up for the stunt in his room. Ellie had gotten them sodas from the breakroom so perhaps he knew she forgave him.

"You have been avoiding me," he said before she could even take a bite of taco.

"I have not." But she didn't really want to look at him. "I like the summer reading program."

"Sure you do," he stared at her. "Honest, I believe you. Its just, we need to talk."

"Can we eat first." She hoped he'd forget about talking. She really didn't think they needed to talk.

So they ate, and Ellie wished she didn't feel so stuffed after one taco, but she did. She kept sipping her RC Cola, wishing it tasted just as she remembered when she was little. But even that had lost its taste over time.

"We don't really have to talk," she told him, raking her fingers through her thick hair that kept falling in her face from the wind.

"No, we do," He was sitting there, almost laying in the grass, leaning on one elbow. "Something's happened."

"Really?" This was a shock. It could be anything, she supposed. Perhaps a revelation of some kind with Cory.

"You have to take me seriously." He squinted but it felt more like a wink to Ellie.

"OK." She could be dead serious if thats what he wanted.

"I want to see you."

She wanted to say something corny like she wasn't invisable, but she didn't.

"All right." She nodded.

"I mean it." He sighed. "I've been thinking a lot about you. And I don't want to see you with anybody else. And if you think that's selfish. Then-"

"God, thats really sweet, Eric," she grinned. "But really, I'm fine I don't need you thinking somebody needs to take care of me."

"I never said that." He shot her a look then looked away. "I knew you'd take it this way."

"What about Cory? What about you?" She wasn't sure if she knew how to talk about this. This was the last conversation she ever expected with him.

"I've given up on him. I have. Its not gonna happen." He told her. "And I'm different. I'm not googling boys for porn if thats what you're thinking. Its not like that. I could have had my chances. I could have. Lots of times." He squinted. "Its disgusting, and even creepy. I never wanted to be some old man's boy toy. If that's what you think."

"I never thought that." She winced even thinking about it.

"So I had a thing for Cory, who didn't? And its like he's made of steel or either he's dumb as door knob. I'm not really sure anymore. But I'm tired of thinking it would be something great when maybe it wouldn't."

"I just thought-" Ellie thought of the kiss. It had been so slow. And she remembered his smile afterwards as if it had been a pleasant random act. "But we're friends, you know."

"You have to think of that as a bonus," Eric told her.

She smiled. Then she caught his kiss. A ray of sunshine peaked from the clouds.