waiting for what

At least she was with an understanding with Eric. He wasn't on his way here.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" She couldn't help but ask.

"No, I'm at work. Why would you think that?" Ellie could tell he was hurt that she'd ask. "I'm not your mother. I haven't lied to you."

"I know that." Ellie felt she might melt in the front room where she didn't feel quite alone. Aunt Maggie was messing around in the kitchen. "Its just I'd be so afraid if you came down here all alone. I wouldn't want you to get lost or anything to happen to you. I want to see you again. I do. I just think we should wait."

"Wait for what?" He acted as if he didn't know.

"You know."

"So you're thinking about it?" His voice was a little too happy for her answer.

"Of course, I'm thinking about."

"So you want me to come?" She heard him ring somebody up and saying to someone that it was his girlfriend's birthday.

"Yeah, but I don't." She found herself pacing around the room looking at old pictures that must have been pictures of Aunt Maggie's old boyfriends because they were in brown and white and pictures of them holding up a line of furs. It disgusted her. "I don't think this is the right time, you know. And you have to keep your job. And we'll have plenty time when I get back."

"But I want to see you now."

She gave a heavy sigh and looked up at the mantle on the fireplace and saw a snapshot behind a vase. She hadn't noticed it before. She looked closer, tugged at the photo. It was a picture of her mother. It was taken when she about Ellie's age.

Ellie pulled the photo out further. There was proof right before her eyes.

Ellie choked with a cough.

"Whats wrong?"Eric asked.

"Uh, I'll call you back. I will. Just don't, come here right now. OK." Ellie bit her bottom lip starting at the photo of her Mom, pregnant.

"What's wrong?"

Her throat was just too sore to tell him. She wasn't sure if her sigh was a laugh or just tears in her throat. "I love you," she told him. "I really do, and you'll just have to wait. Tell me you'll wait. Tell me, you'll wait for me."

"You know I would!" He sounded frantic now. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Its nothing really. Its not." It felt more like a cold, anyway. Not something emotional. She wasn't suppose to get emotional over this stuff. After all, she was her mother's daughter and her mother definitely wasn't emotional. "I'll call you back. Tonight. I promise."

"OK, promise," Eric said. "I love you."

"Yeah, I'm glad you do." She squinted tears. "I love you too."