Last chance

Eric didn't like to think about it anymore. But sometimes, he'd catch himself thinking about it. You know, what really gave him the nerve....the first time he kissed Ellie.

1. was it what he'd walked in on with cory? it just disgusted him. it wasn't that he was just mad at cory. it was the idea of what it was all about. how did he not know it would be about that?

2. then she was just so amazing and horrible at the same time listening to her go on about Rex and what had happened at the park in the rain in the heat of a cab truck. he so wanted to hate her too, but he couldn't. not when he just kept staring at all of her. it just wasn't right. she couldn't think her life was over just because of this guy who clearly just wanted one thing. well, so did he. but not like that. not so quickly. he really wanted to know her completely before that moment.

3. he'd been smoking something with kyle which was going to be one of their weekly activities. according to kyle you just needed to chill. you know, reflect. like hell they were reflecting. it wasn't that kyle ever told him anything nor the like, but they'd sat around trying to think they could come up with music that would just fly from their brain to their fingertips. it would happen, but he never could exactly remember. anyway, it had given him an edge that day. yeah, it was a pretty good feeling of confidence he didn't usually have. especially with girls. but he was pretty sure with or without the weed, he would have kissed ellie, anyway. he had too. it was his last chance.

Really, it was a sloppy first kiss. He knew he could do better. And it didn't help much that she'd caught on about the pot, either. She wasn't quite indifferent. Maybe. It was a little hard to tell. But at least she knew he wanted her. She was the only thing he'd ever wanted that much to just go for it.

Now he wondered if it hadn't worked would he have stalked her?

Honestly, he felt it unsettling from time to time about how much he did want her. Did she want it as much? Or had he just made her want it as much as he did?