Tuesday, December 1, 2009

lonely lonely life

Amanda had not gone back home with Elliot. It was confusing. And she still felt as if she'd walked away from a train wreck with no visible scars, but she felt the after-shock, and it was worse than a bad cold. Possibly because she'd cried so much.

Ellie had been there when he left, and she did her best to make her feel better.

"I know it seems awful, right now, but just give it time, OK." Ellie talked about their new place. How she'd have to come and visit. And they talked about how Amanda had only two more semester to go of college. It wouldn't be that long til the baby came. February.

"I don't know how you do it," Ellie said. "Classes. Babies."

"Not very well." Amanda pouted a bit. Her eyes burned, and she wished she could sleep until February. "I don't think he's-" She couldn't even say it. Elliot was not going to marry her, was he? How could she have ever expected it to happen?

"You know, it was all sort of a dream to begin with." Her eyes filled with tears once again when she thought of Elliot. "I don't know what he saw in me, anyway, but I was so crazy about him, I guess. Just an idiot. That's what I am. Why can't I stop wanting something, I can't even have?"

She didn't get her answer then or now. But Ellie still cared about her. They were still friends. And Ellie was there to listen to her say every miserable thing about herself she could think of.

Here she was still pregnant. Kyle doing his best to never be in sight. She'd never felt so alone in her life, and then the baby kicked, reminding her...she wasn't alone at all.


Emerald said...

You must tell me where you get your inspiration from! O.O
Your writing is amazing. :D

SR@MyStyle said...

Hopefully Elliot will come round to the situation in time as Amanda really needs him now.

simon n josh said...

Hopefully, it won't be that awful for her.

the oaks said...

I'm glad she and ellie can still talk.

a jacob black tale said...

Thanks for the note. Aw..poor Amanda.

Meg said...

I really liked the last line.

I hope everything works out in the end.