Friday, May 28, 2010

following his heart

Doyle had been wanting to call Roger since that night he'd been with him. Granted to some it was nothing. But it was definitely something to him. Breath taking. Unbelievable. Amazing. Shocker. Just a few things that came to his head. Only, it had to be wrong. It was. Especially, in his circle and ways of the church.

What would his mother think? She'd be angry. Maybe kick him out. Tell him his life was over. All because of a kiss. But it was the first time something that felt natural had came to him. He couldn't just ignore it. He just couldn't.

The grief. The turmoil. Anguish. All these things had kept him in his room. But he would smile when he thought of Roger. He was happy if he forgot this other crap that seemed to bring him down more, than help him. So he was going to call. He was. But he wasn't sure what he'd say. And there was that dreaded thought..that maybe...maybe..Roger was one of those shallow individuals who went through hookups like fast food. Once he was done, it got tossed to the curb and ran over by a Mac truck, somehow. Roger hadn't called him.

"Why didn't you call?" Doyle knew he sounded like some selfish brat when he said it.

"I dunno. I just thought, you know, I'd let you decide, if-" Roger started.

"Oh." Doyle cleared his throat. "Sorry. Are you doing anything right now?"

"Kind of." Roger told him. "But, its not a concert or going out or anything. I'm at the emergency room with some friends. A friend of ours is in the hospital. She. Well, see, she's pregnant, but I don't guess she told anyone, and I don't know whats going to happen. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything is OK."

As he listened to Roger talk, Doyle smiled. This was a side he hadn't seen of Roger, who was a caring person, after all. He liked that about him. He wanted that Roger. He wanted to know everything about him.

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