Sunday, September 26, 2010
"Are you sure you didn't know about this?" Syd questioned Eric as if he'd been the sneaky one.
"I'd made light of it. Told them it would be quite simple if we didn't have to go very far. And that I liked it." He shrugged it off that he'd never actually been in the two story Victorian with the wrap around porch. Thinking there had to be something awful about it. It was just too old, they'd both suspected. But it was there's now. Sort of. They had to make payments on the place. His mother had made the investment so it was a lot like rent. Still.
And here they were, alone. His mother had taken Evan, but Syd could see Eric felt as if something was missing. But then they found their bedroom. Syd smiled. She knew her mother had thought of her. She knew what she liked. There were even a jar of white shells. She'd collected them when she was small, and her mother had fixed it as a night light now. It made Syd happy.
Instantly, she hoped she could be as thoughtful to her own child as he Mom was to her. Of course, they'd had their ups and downs and yes, they squabbled from time to time. Somehow, they always made up, and she was so happy that her Mom still hugged as if she were a little girl. Although, that was a bit hard to do these days. Really, though, she felt closer to her Mom in a whole new way. They'd talked about how it was when she was born, and her first words and when she learned to walk. She was really anxious for the baby to come now.
"I think I'm ready now." She plopped down on the bed.
"You mean, the hospital?" Eric looked at her as if this was no time to sit.
"I wish." She looked up at him. "How long am I going to have to wait." She hugged herself then.
"Well, you should at least rest." After all they'd been getting situated here. So many long dinners and talks with family. She felt kind of lost in her own house.
"I don't even know where my pajamas are." She informed him.
"I'll find them." He told her. So it wasn't long til she went to brush her teeth and got ready for bed.
"You are coming to bed, aren't you?" She looked at him as if he was wandering around the house as if he had something to do, like check on Evan but he wasn't there.
Finally they got settled in the dark. Although, the jar of seashells were still lit and she could see how the curtains were going to let in more light from the street than she really liked, but she wouldn't fuss about it.
"You think we'll like it here?" This was not the bed she knew. Firm and big enough for the both to twist and turn to their delight, but still she wasn't used to it.
"You have to give it time." He told her. He touched her shoulder.
Time, wasn't that all she had, lately. Time. She felt as if she was in a fret, but she didn't want to be. His lips met hers before she could talk about it. She smiled then, glad he hadn't let her have a chance to be in a pout. Really, she knew she had to enjoy this time because it was changing. Already. She felt a cramp practically under her breast as if someone didn't quite like this moment as she did. She squinted hard then.
"You all right?" Eric asked.
She nodded she was, but the pain that shot up her lower back said that wasn't true. She felt as if she was in the middle of her own earth quake. It was so harsh and real. Her eyes went wet. It might have been the emotion or perhaps it was something completely physical that was like some metamorphosis she'd never quite experienced.
"Come on, we have to go." He did his best to get her out of bed. But she could hardly move. She cringed with pain.
"I don't know if I can." She looked up at him. The stairway was just too much. But he didn't wait. They made it down the stairs just fine. He had her and he wasn't letting go, and he was picking up her bag as they went. Keys. All of it. In the car she went.
He started up the car.
"I really want drugs. I want bad drugs to knock me out, Eric. Just tell them to give me everything." She breathed. "I want everything. I don't like this feeling."