Wednesday, September 29, 2010

circles among circles

 It was a relief that the moment was finally here. Amber went to wash dishes that Hilda left in the sink. It was like an old habit now. She'd spent her summer trying to figure out this old woman. It was strange. She sort of talked in riddles. Usually, they were old stories about her girls when they were little. Naturally, Amber had questioned her. Unsure, who the old woman was talking about.

Amber looked back at Olivia and her mother. Then at Hilda who kept a watchful eye on them. Amber couldn't figure out if Hilda was just crazy or maybe a genius. Granted, the Sophia that Amber met, came off so giddy and kind of silly. Like she might be drunk, half the time. Possibly high on life or maybe something else.

Amber wondered now if maybe someone didn't think Sophia could take care of Olivia. According to Hilda, Olivia's sister Lil was raised by her father. She didn't know that for sure, but it seemed reasonable now. She guessed.

Here she was thinking about somebody else's life and not her own. Amber missed her own mother, yet at the same time she was angry with her too. Her mother would not stand up to her father. They'd had a disagreement long ago when Heath had left and never came back. She had made her Mom mad when she didn't understand how her Mom could let her Dad win. What about Heath? Her mother didn't see the need to want to know where he was. Or at least Amber thought. But she could see how her mother had starved herself from worry. And it felt like a ghost in the house. Amber teared up then. She tore a croissant in to that she'd brought for them. She put the bread in her mouth. It might as well have been cotton. She thought she might choke.

Kyle came to mind. He probably thought she was nuts. Amber tried to explain to him about Hilda and Olivia's mother, but he didn't have time to listen. Other than question her. "Who are you talking about?" Maybe it was her fault that he had so much on his mind with the new job and Rosie. Never did she try to come first with him. She knew who came first with him. It was Rosie. And she appreciated that about him.

Amber so wanted to figure out this relationship stuff. She hoped he didn't think she wanted to be with him because there was no one else. But the fact remained, there was no one else in her life. Just him. She didn't want to think how she might be without him.

Amber went back to the dishes then after she re-filled everyone's coffee cup. She guessed she understood now how her mother felt about her Dad. Her mother didn't know anything else.

8 comments:

meg said...

I guess its natural to think of our own life and own mother in every situation. Amber really needs to make some amends, herself with her own family.

the oaks said...

Oh Amber, I think she's got some sorting of her own to do.

Cafe Fashionista said...

I feel horrible for Amber - I think she really needs to do some soul-searching. :/

jeremy's turn said...

I hope she at least calls her Mom.

ivyoaks said...

I think Amber has had a very hard summer.

Robyn said...

I'm totally doing well, thank you!
It's crazy to believe that shootings and stuff happen. You'd think people might realize the horrible nature of it....

Hope you're well too!

-Robyn

La Jodi3 & La Couture said...

amber seem to have a horrible summer, and she should call her mommy!

Holly said...

amber so needs to make up with her family.