Wednesday, September 29, 2010
circles among circles
Amber looked back at Olivia and her mother. Then at Hilda who kept a watchful eye on them. Amber couldn't figure out if Hilda was just crazy or maybe a genius. Granted, the Sophia that Amber met, came off so giddy and kind of silly. Like she might be drunk, half the time. Possibly high on life or maybe something else.
Amber wondered now if maybe someone didn't think Sophia could take care of Olivia. According to Hilda, Olivia's sister Lil was raised by her father. She didn't know that for sure, but it seemed reasonable now. She guessed.
Here she was thinking about somebody else's life and not her own. Amber missed her own mother, yet at the same time she was angry with her too. Her mother would not stand up to her father. They'd had a disagreement long ago when Heath had left and never came back. She had made her Mom mad when she didn't understand how her Mom could let her Dad win. What about Heath? Her mother didn't see the need to want to know where he was. Or at least Amber thought. But she could see how her mother had starved herself from worry. And it felt like a ghost in the house. Amber teared up then. She tore a croissant in to that she'd brought for them. She put the bread in her mouth. It might as well have been cotton. She thought she might choke.
Kyle came to mind. He probably thought she was nuts. Amber tried to explain to him about Hilda and Olivia's mother, but he didn't have time to listen. Other than question her. "Who are you talking about?" Maybe it was her fault that he had so much on his mind with the new job and Rosie. Never did she try to come first with him. She knew who came first with him. It was Rosie. And she appreciated that about him.
Amber so wanted to figure out this relationship stuff. She hoped he didn't think she wanted to be with him because there was no one else. But the fact remained, there was no one else in her life. Just him. She didn't want to think how she might be without him.
Amber went back to the dishes then after she re-filled everyone's coffee cup. She guessed she understood now how her mother felt about her Dad. Her mother didn't know anything else.