Saturday, September 11, 2010

its too late to change your mind

Kyle laid next to Amber. The fan was on them. It felt a little bit like camp. But the curtains swayed in the dark, and he knew Rosie was sleeping not so far away. Amber was just in his tank and her panties. He thought of the first time they were together. Here. Alone.

She'd been all smiles, but they'd known what to expect of each other just the same. Of course, that was a lot like camping too. She kept referring to pioneer stories which made him laugh more. There was a rich romance she filled herself with, or at least he thought. Perhaps, it was not that way, at all. He now imagined. He had thoughts of letting her go. And yet, she was still here. As if this was what she wanted. Possibly, it wasn't. A part of him was afraid to know for sure. On weekends, he and Lon fixed things around the old woman's place. It was good to have Lon to talk to. He felt more like a brother than his own. But he never talked to Lon about Amber. There were times, Kyle had faith in her, yet she worried him to. As if he might be keeping her from something. Honestly, he didn't feel good enough, for her. She deserved better.

"Maybe you need to just take a break from everything. You could see your Mom this weekend. You know, just the two of you." He turned to his side to cool the sweat on his back.

"But, I want you to be there." She gazed at him from her pillow.

"You know, I can't do that. Your dad, and well, I've got stuff to do around here." He shrugged. "Look, dinner was great. Really." He made an effort to smile.

"No, it wasn't." She acted like he was teasing her now, and she touched his side to bring him in closer to her.

"Seriously, you...you have other things you make better. I love your cheese grilled sandwiches." He nodded.

"You know, you make a better cheese grilled sandwich than I do." She pursed her lips.

"Maybe I do." He slightly bit his upper lip. "Look, the thing is-"

"What? My cooking sucks?" She knew.

"No, Its not that. Its-its...you should make things right with your dad. Just go home and, work it out." He winced slightly.

"There is nothing to work out, Kyle." She glared at him then. "I want to be with you. Its just I'm not as, I dunno, its a lot more work than I ever thought-possible. Making a house a home."

"See, you need a break from us." He thought of Rosie then, who he knew would miss her, but she was flexible when it came to Moms.

"No. Don't say that." She laid back on her pillow. "I want to see the glass half-full instead of half-empty, you know."

Kyle licked his dry lips. He just wished he knew where they were going and what they'd do once they got there. After all, this was just temporary. But how many things in his life were only temporary?

7 comments:

ori said...

I don't know how he does it. I think he's been through more than I probably even know.

lucy and sarah said...

They are facing a lot of problems that some their age don't face. Still, she needs to settle things with her Mom and Dad, too.

Cafe Fashionista said...

He has truly been through so much; it's so sad! :(

Sara Lynn said...

Oh I hope they stay together :(

Sara Lynn said...

Oh I hope they stay together :(

meg said...

oh, love is a battle field. Hopefully, communicating is going to help, a lot.

Holly said...

I wish he'd stop thinking he's not good enough for her. It seems she's depending on him a lot. I was listening to this old woman tell me today that so many people treat relationships like fast food.