Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I don't know you and you don't know me
The fact of the matter... he'd had a breakdown of some kind. That's what it was. He couldn't say when it exactly happened or what caused it. Why had teaching been so difficult this year? He'd been fine the year before. Itwas as if that school was about to suck the life out of him, and so was Amanda.
He was just not good with domestic problems, evidently. Yet last summer, felt like a break through, on the road, in that bus with the band and her.
His head was spinning, trying to sort it all out, but then he knew it didn't matter. Tomorrow mattered. That's what he had to think about. And it didn't do him much good to be in this sinking physical pain. His back. His feet. So much to have to deal with now. This sort of catastrophe made him feel old fast. He wasn't sure he wanted to even drive, again. Elliot was ready to give up.
"No, no, no.." It sounded as if the NOs were just never ending from his Mom. "You're going to move on. That's what you're going to do." And thats when he introduced him to Rachel.
This really took Elliot, a back. What did his mother want from him? Granted, he felt trapped here. He wasn't sure if this was his best option. But just the thought of Rosie's stare at him made him realise he didn't belong there. Not that anything had ever happened between the two of them, but Rosie knew, she knew how he really was. She didn't trust him, and why should she? So yes, he felt farther than he ever did from Amanda.
Now he was cut down to listen to Rachel talk about Church. How she'd argued with someone over the book of Revelations. Really, he didn't even care. All he could dream of was being on his own again. Away from all of this. Leave the rest behind.