no matter

Syd wondered many times if Evan shrieked like a little dinosaur. Some older woman had said this about Evan when she had taken him and Ella to the library.

"Do you think he sounds like a dinosaur?" She asked Eric who looked as if he were off in another world. She was doing her best to get dinner on the table. Some one needed to be seen about, but Eric hadn't chased after Evan.

"What?" He finally looked at her dazed.

"You can't seriously be thinking about Ian, are you?" She asked, but she didn't wait for an answer. She found Evan with a  marker, and he was making a masterpiece on the livingroom wall. This is what happened when Rosie came to see him. There was always something left behind that he could get a hold of. This was hers. Not theirs.

She put her hands on her hips and just watched. It would come off, if she scrubbed it enough. Just one more thing she didn't feel like doing. She'd get to it.

"Evan!" Eric found what he was doing. All those little red marks on the wall as if it were primitive work of someone counting stick trees. Perhaps.

At least Eric went to get a warm wash cloth and worked on the wall then.

"Look, you have to accept this with Ian. Just let it go, will you?" She was back to the topic she knew he couldn't get out of his head.

"I know." He winced. He took care of the marker then. Eric put it in the trash. Evan was finally in his arms. His big blue eyes studied Eric's face. His fingers went straight to Eric's ears.

"Do you think he'll ever talk?" He was back to Evan as if he was doing his best not to think of Ian, Syd guessed.

"He's just fine." She didn't see any reason to think that Evan wouldn't. She talked to him everyday. Gave him lots of smiles, read to him when she could, and Eric always spent several hours with him every night. "Besides, I hear he sounds like a little dinosaur."

"What do little dinosaurs sound like?" Eric cracked a smile then as if no way did his son sound like a dinosaur.

"I dunno, but some one told me he sounded like a baby dinosaur at the library." Syd shrugged as she went back to the soup. Eric came back to the kitchen with him.

"Look, if- well, lets say, by chance, what if Evan's gay? Would you love him any less?" Syd couldn't help but bring up.

"Well, he's not." Eric winced as if that would be impossible.

"You can't decide like that." Syd informed him as she put the potato soup in bowls then. She set out the salad.

"I don't want to think about it." He finally decided as he put Evan in his high chair and gave him some avocado to play with and hopefully eat.

"You know, you'd always love him. Just like you'd always love Ian." Syd was certain of it. She just didn't get why this upset Eric so. She knew she'd love her kids, no matter what.