Tuesday, March 15, 2011
off and on
"You're not having second thoughts? Are you?" Ian asked once they got to Derrick's room. Derrick had been quiet the whole way home. Granted, it would have been a whole lot better in his old room with the bigger bed. Ian wished they'd decided on this ages ago. The sex.
"No." Derrick first said. Then came YES.
Ian looked at him. Josie knew. He was sure of it. He tried not to think about how she made the assumption. Why did they even have to bring her up? But it was there. He could see, something was on Derrick's mind.
"Its because of what she said, isn't it?" He kept even lipped.
"God, seriously, she doesn't know..anything." Derrick sighed, hugging himself. He turned from Ian then. "I guess...Josie thinks..its ...you..who..well, you're using me."
"WHAT?' The question hung in the air. Suddenly, it hit Ian that he was the older of the two. And he remembered how he'd been so nonchalant about how it would be if they dated. "You know that's not true." Ian felt a little hurt that Josie would come to that conclusion.
Derrick rubbed his eye-lids with his thumb and forefinger. Ian set down on the bed which wiggled as if it might know the dance they could proceed with.
"Relax." Derrick sat down next to him and took Ian's hand.
"She's making me out to be....a monster." A small grimace came to Ian's face. "Maybe I should call her." Ian thought it over. He'd talk to her. Try to make her see.
"NO. It'll just be worse. She won't let it go." Derrick looked at him wide eyed. "Its none of her business. She'll get over it. Sooner or later. You'd think she was Saint Josie, at the moment. At least, she didn't tell me I was going to hell."
"I just wanted us." He gritted then. "I know I want to be with you. I do. I just wanted it over with, before, before someone told me, I didn't know what I was getting into."
'To bad there isn't this fraternity, or something. I mean, there is that group at church. I'm pretty sure abstinence is the sure thing with those guys." Derrick looked at Ian with a shrug. "But hey, Josie lost her virginity like way over a year ago. I dunno why she's all, you know, on a mission of some kind now. Especially, about us."
Ian was thinking it over. It wouldn't be easy, not wanting more from each other. Derrick kissed him as if he didn't want Josie to upset him.
Funny, how Ian wasn't hungry at all when he was with Derrick. And he knew it was much more than just sex with him. He didn't want to be with anyone else. He wanted there to be a future and maybe this wasn't completely the answer.
"You feel like completely, ditching?" Ian smiled.
"And do what?" Derrick was close. Very close.
"I dunno. How about a drive? We should check out the University." Ian kept his eye steady on Derrick. But they made out more. Maybe they'd get to that drive, just not yet.