in the midst of it

Ellie thought she might have butterflies in her stomach as soon as Lon told her about the trip to Reese's wedding. She couldn't say something like.."Do we have too? Really?"

That just wouldn't be acceptable. There was Hannah to think about who wanted to be called Lily now. And how was Charlie going to act? He didn't like for people to call Hannah, anything but Lily now.

"What if something goes wrong?" She had a bad feeling about this. A car wreck. Ear infection. Zoe having a high fever. Charlie jumping in someones pool and drowning. Hannah running away. So many things could go wrong.

"Are you still upset about that boyfriend of your Mother's?" Lon looked at her as if she didn't need to worry so much. He hugged her close as if he wasn't going to let anything awful happen. His hands swept through her hair. But he really didn't make her feel any better. Her mother was really the last thing she had on her mind.

"I don't want to talk about it." Not her mother. Not this. Not anything. She felt a little jittery. She had to keep calm. No one ever expected her to be nervous, but she was. About a lot of things. Maybe she was a good actress. After all. But it was taking a toll on her, feeling as if she had to please everybody. She knew she didn't, but still she felt under pressure. She was a new Mom. Even a new step-mom. Now a trip that certainly wouldn't be a vacation.

"Look, your Mom is happy. You have to be happy for her. We can't be in control...of everything." His embrace was warm. She closed her eyes.

"I do want her to be OK. It's just... I don't do enough." She then told him.

"Yes, you do." Lon told her.

She wanted to believe him. She was just glad this trip wasn't tomorrow.