Friday, April 29, 2011

wanting to be wrong

Amber looked at the messy room. Clothes everywhere. She and Roger had had a disagreement. She didn't want to call it a fight because this always alarmed Heath.

Sure he let her have it, about their Mom. Heath was on her mom's side, but he kept calling. She did have him to talk to. It seemed he was worried about her. He wouldn't come out and say it, but she knew he thought she was suicidal.

This made her laugh and end up crying. A lot. Why would he think that? Wasn't like she was trying to hurt herself. Actually.

"But, think about it? Why would you want to be with Roger? You're just setting yourself up. You want him to break your heart." He'd told her.

Well, Heath was the drama king, she thought as she went to put her clothes away. Roger and she had made up. Maybe they liked drama. That was it. He was so different from Kyle. Now she felt she'd hurt Kyle so much. Not that she'd tried to call him. She'd left him alone. She knew she'd make it worse if she did try because Kyle would show her no sympathy.

Just then her cell rang. It wasn't a text, but a phone call from Amanda.

"How are you?" Amanda wanted to know.

"Fine." Amber hadn't expected to hear from her.

"Don't give me that," Amanda said. "I would have called sooner, but I was finishing up with my student teaching... Rosie really wants to see you. She misses you."

"She does?" Amber blinked tears. She hadn't thought of Rosie one bit, and it made her feel all the more bad that she hadn't thought of a little girl's feelings.

"Yeah, I told her, maybe we could meet you for lunch, some Saturday. You pick the place. Maybe the mall. Lunch and a matinee."

"OK." Amber felt better just saying she'd go. She looked around the room. It gave her a new energy to have the place presentable. She went to make the bed. Finally she smiled. Yeah, there was happiness inside her. She just had to stop feeling guilty about having it.

6 comments:

better days said...

Hopefully, Amber is on the right track.

lucy and sarah said...

Sometimes, brothers are the best at making us feel bad. Maybe he's just a concerned brother too. I think Amber is growing up.

ivy's closet said...

Oh, must be limbo.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Amber will figure things out eventually - she's learning; growing. :)

molly said...

I'm glad she can still spend time with Rosie. There are a lot people it affects in a breakup..more than you sometimes, know.

meg said...

Its a hard time, but I think she'll be OK.