there I go again

Roger almost freaked when he saw who was waiting at his car for him when he got off work. It was dark, muggy and well past midnight.

"What the fuck?" Roger winced. It was best to be bitter. Easier than being a bore, but seriously he had no time for Ryan.

"Look, I just want to talk." Ryan looked normal enough in her white tee and faded jeans. Still, Roger guessed he was suppose to treat her like a guy, now wasn't he? But he guessed a shoving match might be out of the question.

"Why?" Roger cracked up. "There is nothing to say. You're gay. I'm-" well, in limbo, he thought. He didn't stand a chance with Leon these days. It just hadn't clicked. But he needed just a friend, anyway.

"I know." Ryan nodded. "Its just..I feel really OK, around you."

"Wow." Roger slightly mocked, as he pondered on it. No one had ever said that to him before. "But you have a girlfriend."

"I know." Ryan leaned against his car. "But that's sooo...normal."

"Normal?" Roger shook his head, thinking this was an unbelievable genderswap. Wasn't it?

"Hope, she's so loyal and shit, but-" She shook her head and got out a pack of smokes. She offered one to him.

"I really shouldn't." He didn't want to start anything, and smoking with Ryan tended to move to other things.

"I'm suppose to go to New York." She told him then. "But I don't want to."

 Roger looked away, thinking why would she let an opportunity like that slip away?

"Hope, she's can't hardly wait. And, well, she needs the experience." Ryan nodded. "Without me."

"Does she know that yet?" Roger looked back at Ryan who just shook her head.

Before Roger knew it, they were taking a walk toward the park. Soon enough they found a merry-go-around to hop on. He pushed it around. Somehow, it all seemed to go so much faster in the dark. Seriously, he could not remember the last time he'd been to the park, and there was one just behind the grocery store near the housing area.

Roger gave in and took the cigarette from Ryan. They laid next to each other on the slow moving apparatus and pondered at the starry night. There was only a slight apprehension of what winter might have left behind near the cool soil. It gave Roger a shiver. He really was trying to figure himself out, but then Ryan came along.

"Dunno what to do with myself around you, you know." Roger sighed. Seriously, this might be the only fun he had this summer. One moment he was thinking Ryan as the most interesting guy he'd ever met, yet there was this other side too that was just as interesting, thinking of her as this vibrant young woman, too.

"Just quit thinking about it, already." Ryan told him. They held hands as if it was already working out. The two of them. Together.