Thursday, November 3, 2011

Someone broke into my heart

The snow kept falling. Willow couldn't remember the last time it snowed like this, and it wasn't melting. And she wasn't home. Willow watched the snow fall quietly from Jules' place.  She blinked once more, standing by the window in his gray thermal shirt that hung almost to her knees. Calm set in, but she shivered slightly. It would be dark soon.

Willow bit her bottom lip and looked back at Jules still asleep in his bed. There wasn't much room for her, but then it hadn't taken that much room. She couldn't help but smile. This is what hot chocolate meant?

She couldn't shake the thought of his initial intentions. But maybe she had something to do with it. Curious, she supposed. He said he had all the ingredients for the real thing. Milk, cocoa, sugar. She guessed. "Not that instant stuff."

Her lips were chapped now. They'd kissed far to much. And still, that would have probably been enough. She thought of how many times she'd stopped and started with this kind of thing. Topher always found her to be a tease. But then again, they had been friends forever and his take was "Any time you're ready to lose your virginity, just call me."

But she'd wanted it to be for the right reasons. There was a time, she was certain it would be scheduled on the calender like a holiday. There would be rose petals and candles. Wasn't that the way it was suppose to be?

This was a bit off guard. She liked to believe. But they'd kissed before, behind the van when it began to snow and the landscape quietly changed around them while perhaps things changed between them too. She'd ridden back to Jules' place to get her car, where he mentioned hot chocolate. She'd teased him. "Yeah, I want to see this."

So they'd raced upstairs and he jerked open his little fridge and showed her he had whole milk. Ready Whip too. She laughed and fell into him which ended up being a kiss that would not die. Yet, she wanted to keep it alive, and it went on until he could hardly catch his breath.

"I love you." He said out of nowhere. "I really really mean it, too. I love you. No matter what." He made it sound so fascinating. She couldn't help but want to see it happen. So layer after layer shed to the floor, it was so quiet and his lips touched her until she honestly knew what she wanted.

But did she say it back? Did she tell him... she loved him? It felt as if it were too late. She carefully, climbed back under the covers. He moved back toward the wall and wrapped himself around her. She felt his warm breath on her ear.

"I love you." She whispered. It was true. She thought of him, constantly. She wanted to give him things, but never did. Not unless he really needed them. Like the art supplies.

But there was her brother to think of.

"Now how about that hot chocolate?" Jules said. She turned back to him. He kissed her forehead. His messy curls never looked better.

Willow softly laughed.  She knew what that meant.

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