Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Rachel wanted to be there for Ruthie. Of course, the whole family was there too.
So many unanswered questions. Ruthie had lied to them. Rachel could see it on her face when their mother asked how in the world could this have happened? That was NOT Matt they knew. He was the perfect husband and father. Wasn't he?
"Mom, just let it go." Rachel reminded her there were other things they needed to worry about. Ruthie didn't look well, as it was. They needed to give her time and peace of mind that they'd be here for her. There was no reason to demand some reason for Matt's actions.
"It wasn't your fault." Rachel assured her sister after their mother had her say and went off to help with the kids. Their father was making arrangements at the church for Matt's funeral. But she saw the disconcerted look on Ruthie's face. Rachel suspected things hadn't been right between Ruthie and Matt in a long time.
But they sat quietly for a long in Ruthie's room. There were still photos on the wall of Ruthie and Matt's wedding. It was like a shrine. It once decorated the livingroom wall. Now it was wall to wall photos of the kids.
Ruthie pushed her dark hair out of her face.
"I can't help but not love him." Ruthie wanted her sister to know. Rachel understood. "Maybe, maybe I had..too many expectations." Her sister looked drained. Perhaps not even well.
"He cheated on me." Ruthie clarified. She shook her head. "And..and the strange thing is..I..I would have never known." She stared at the pictures on the wall. "But when I was pregnant with Shelby, I found out.." She cleared her throat. "I have herpes." She barely said above her breath.
Rachel didn't know what to say. Not that she'd ever breathe a word of it to her mother.
"I know what you think." She shook her head. "How could that be so bad? But I couldn't trust him. I had so much faith in ..us. And he let me down, Rach. He let down."
Rachel nodded. She was certain she would be closer to her sister now. She'd have to be.