Tuesday, January 17, 2012
in the event
Of course, Olivia hadn't judged her.
"Please..please tell me..you'll never tell Roger about this, will you?" She begged the next day while they were taking an early morning walk. It was so strange to say his name.
The moment she found out she was pregnant, she put him out of her mind. When they'd talked to her at the abortion clinic, she swore she didn't know who the father was, and it was all very random. She wanted to keep it that way. Yet, there was this burden she still carried, heavy on her heart. She'd kept it from him because she hated him. And because she hated him so much..she...
"He's got Ryan to worry about," Olivia assured her. "I don't see them ever starting a family." The way she said it was as if it were the right thing to do. "But do you really want to keep this from Scott?" Olivia told her she couldn't keep anything from Ravi.
Amber shook her head, no. She felt like clawing her arms, as she pulled down the sleeves of her long sleeve shirt as they walked on a nature trail among the cactus. It wasn't like she was a cutter, exactly, but, her nerves got to her, sometimes. The antidepressant helped some.
"I don't want to talk about it." Amber finally said. She could turn off this emotion. She always did when Scott was around.
"How do you know, this..this is even going to make Scott so furious? He might understand. He might." Olivia reminded her. Amber looked back at Olivia.
Where would she start? They were both Catholic. Scott was very religious. More religious than her. She remembered how proud her mom was that she'd met someone who was Catholic. Her parents adored him. His parents were pleased too.
"I shouldn't have told you. I shouldn't have." She felt light headed as if she might faint. She hadn't felt like having breakfast.
Amber went forward, her foot tripped over the stump of a rock ahead. When she stumbled, she rolled down the hill. All she could met were an army cactus.