Friday, February 10, 2012
what ever happened to the boy next door
Henry was pretty sure he was awful at this. Relationships. Maybe even friendships.
He was friendly enough. It was always with the wrong friends. Sort of. Its was just... they were girls. He'd been every girl's best friend since first grade. But he was never the boyfriend. Perhaps a few had tried, possibly a little dismayed. Usually, it worked out well, somehow. Friends. Perhaps he was just avoiding the enviable. Some day he'd want to be more than friends, with someone.
Henry thought about the first time he saw Ian and Derrick together. That's what he wanted. They were good for each other, or so he thought. Comfortable in their own skin, so to speak. It was positive. Even above the influence, as far as he was concerned.
He watched from a distance. It wasn't easy. Especially, with band, swing band, then choir. He was your man with the drums, sometimes keyboard. What ever they needed. And he'd be right there to listen to anything you might want to share. Of course, he was always half listening, instead..watching someone else's romance. The kind he longed for.
And then Ian and Derrick broke up. He wanted to know why, but it wasn't something he could ask even to the ones he knew at the GLSEN meeting. Instead, he felt as if he were waiting in the wings. He was there for Derrick's debut at the high school musical. He even showed up at the after party. Not that Derrick noticed. He seemed to be into a one man show as his audience gathered around.
But it didn't hurt Henry's feelings that he didn't notice him. The timing was all wrong. That was it. Too soon. But maybe. Some day. And Henry kept busy. Or tried. There were group activities to be in. He wasn't one to mope around. If Derrick could be so busy, then he could too.
When the terrible ordeal happened with Derrick's sister, Henry really wanted to say something to him, but he didn't know how. Instead, he made meatloaf and dropped it off at Derrick's house like the neighbors who provided meals during the days that followed. In fact, Henry didn't see Derrick, at all. He almost thought he'd left school after winter break.
But he hadn't forgot about him, and he wanted to tell him this now. Henry had a feeling he might never tell him. Perhaps even now, the timing was all wrong. What if it always would be?