one without the other

Possibly, Henry was going a little overboard with the whole Josie pregnancy thing. Derrick wouldn't hold it against him. A part of him felt bad that he didn't think of it first. But the baby experience was so overwhelming. He did feel lost about what to do. At the moment, he felt as if he was walking in circles and not getting anything done.

"Something will come your way." Henry was all smiles as he squeezed Derrick's shoulder now. "Just gotta relax."

Derrick sighed, shaking his head. That wasn't going to do it. He needed to be filling out job applications. At least, he did at the stores they'd went to, out on their evening with Josie. Derrick was too busy to talk to any of them. But he went along as if he were OK in what ever Josie wanted. Derrick would be shocked if family and friends bought all this stuff for the baby.

"I told her she should blog about the coming months." Henry shrugged.

"To strangers? Let strangers, buy the baby stuff?" Derrick looked at Henry wide eyed. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea.

"Well, its not that unusual." Henry didn't think it strange, as he sat down with his laptop on the couch and patted down a space for Derrick to sit next to him.

Derrick figured Henry might show him just what he was talking about, but instead there was gay porn full throttle, in color.

Derrick snapped the laptop shut and looked at Henry.

"What was that!" Derrick winced then as if that was the last thing he would see on Henry's laptop. Henry was too innocent for something like that to appear on his computer screen.

"You know what that was?" Henry smiled at Derrick.

Derrick cleared his throat. He pushed the curls on his forehead back with his hand and then wondered how he was suppose to compete with that. Even respond to it?

"Were you trying..." Derrick wasn't even sure he knew where he wanted that sentence to go. "If..if that was suppose to be a turn on..then it wasn't." Derrick hugged himself.

"I was just watching so I'd know. You know." He shrugged, as if it were not a big deal.

"Its not really that fast and furious." Derrick didn't think, anyway. He'd certainly not want to be on camera, like those guys. "I mean.." He cleared his throat again. He couldn't look Henry in the eye. "Not for me, anyway." Then Derrick felt he'd said the wrong thing. Not that he wanted to have sex with Henry, right away. Maybe some day. But it was just out of the question at the moment.

He looked at Henry, wondering if he gotten Henry all wrong. Was he just looking for a friend with benefits. Maybe he didn't want this having anything to do with love? Unfortunately, Derrick knew something about that. And he wouldn't dare speak of it. Yes, he'd had a moment of weakness when he broke up with Ian. Maybe it was revenge sex. He thought now as he bit his bottom lip. Yet his heartbeat quicken when he thought of Dorian and the play.

Actually, he'd forgotten about him. It was just a one time deal, and he knew the football player would never speak of it. Derrick certainly kept the secret safe with him. And that was certainly not what he wanted with Henry.

"I'm sorry, it was there. OK. I found it on Tumblr." Henry shrugged. "I'm this follower of some one who loves gay cinema. And they were gaga over this gay porn star I never heard of, and..I left it on my dashboard." He told him. "Not that I need to watch gay porn. Really." He chuckled then. "Gives a whole new meaning to that old bill board slogan. REAL MEN DON'T USE PORN." He grinned then. "I think of the first time I read that out loud, when I was in the car with my Mom. I asked her all about it. I'm surprised she didn't have a car wreck. I kept saying, I'm a real man, Mom, I would never use porn. Of course, at the time, she was talking about Playboy magazines and I was so YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME ." He was quiet then. As if he'd shut up about it. "OK, I did watch it, a little, you know, but its not like.."

Derrick kissed him so he'd shut up. After all, Derrick did want to be Henry's boyfriend.