Thursday, May 17, 2012

letting it out



Maybe Gilly was on to something. Jonah wasn't sure he was really ready to go back to the beginning of his so called life. He knew he had a lot more than most. After hearing about Gilly's stories of being in a orphanage, then foster care. It was a miracle as far as Jonah was concerned that Gilly turned out as normal as he did.

No, he'd been a problem child, from the get go. Jonah was told this, early on. Always quite disagreeable. Didn't understand the word, no. Still,  there was something between the truth that he never could quite tell. He did miss his mother. He'd always wanted to be know her. Not the way he wanted. All formal. Dressed nice for dinner.

Instead, he'd been kept with the Nanny who never seemed pleased with him. Even now he remembered how the palm of his hands could be so raw from her disapproval. He didn't talk much when he was a kid. Always scared. Worried. How could he tell his mother this now?

He needed to grow up. He wanted too. Yet, there was a stunted part that felt he were frozen in time, watching everyone have what they wanted, except him.

Jonah, looked at the book Gilly handed over. He tried to skim the pages, but old memories surfaced instead. Finally, he told Gilly everything and a dreadful weight was lifted. Maybe he wasn't as messed up as he thought he was.

He slept that night. It wasn't artificial sleep, but real genuine slumber. He was definitely right where he wanted to be, and he'd never overslept in his life. But the doorbell was ringing. The sunlight burning bright. Jonah yawned, turned over to go back to sleep.

"Hey, mate, you mum's here." Gilly gave him a shake on the shoulder. He wasn't anymore dressed for company than Jonah. Gilly was giving the baby a bottle. Gilly was in his pajama bottoms and barefooted.

Jonah thought he might be dreaming. He didn't want to get up.

"Did we interrupt something?" Jonah heard Jules' little laugh. Of course,  Jules looked as if he could crawl right into bed for a snooze, but he wanted to hold the baby. Jonah's mother was busy in the kitchen making tea. Of course, Willow hugged him as if she didn't ever want to let Jonah go.

Jonah's smile was even. He guessed it was best to be himself, but maybe his mother didn't even know that person.

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