Tuesday, June 12, 2012
making the same mistakes
Maybe, Derrick was just using Topher as an excuse. Topher's band wouldn't even be in the battle of the bands. They were heading for Texas that weekend to some musical festival. Yet, Derrick felt he was in some one act play where he ended up being the villain, when he knew all along he should be the hero.
But there was work. And he was being a lousy friend to Josie. They lived in the same house, but he hardly ever saw her.
There was the Henry matter. Things weren't quite as uber-exciting as he'd hoped. He hadn't meant to push him. Had he? It was as if their relationship flat lined. Neither of them had the energy to talk about it. He knew that was wrong. But what could he say?
If that wasn't enough, there were texts from Dorian. Which shocked him. He'd see him from time to time at the movie theater. Only Dorian was with his girlfriend, every-time. But he'd catch Dorian's smile from a distance when she wasn't looking. He definitely didn't want to start up anything with him. Derrick didn't want to be anyone's secret.
So, it was back to Henry. After all, this was Henry who was the best. Derrick wished he could be more like him.
"Honestly, I need you ...for the band." He still thought they could do battle of the bands.
"I'm not sure I want to." Henry was being indifferent. But then again, Derrick did come to the library to see him. Henry was busy with paperbacks. Looking up titles on the computer.
"Well..its not about Topher..its not." Derrick kept looking at him as if maybe he'd get the hint it was something else.
"You might not like...me...you know, um, on the drums." Henry winced and told him he was sure Derrick could set up his own baseline. "You could do it..all yourself."
"No. No..." Derrick shook his head. "I can't. I need you. I really do. Please? Whatever it takes?" Maybe they were talking about something else, entirely, but he knew he needed him for the band. "You are ..so..good.." Derrick gritted hard. "At everything. I need you..so..so I can ..do better."
Henry looked up at him. His face genuinely lit up as if he savored every word Derrick spoke.
"OK." He didn't sound too excited though.
"So? You'll come over, later?" Derrick's eyes brightened.
"I guess so." Henry shrugged.
Derrick wanted to smile. Maybe they wouldn't get around to the music. Just kiss and makeup.