Sunday, July 8, 2012
isn't it nice..sugar and spice
Derrick wanted to talk. He guessed. But first things first. There were other things to catch up, too. He wanted to think it was the alcohol. By the time he got out of the fight with Ian and his accidental punch at Henry...he ran for some time. Perhaps not as far nor as fast as he thought. He was out of breath by the time he got to the concessions. It stung him a bit sober, perhaps.
And there was Dorian. Just when Derrick thought he'd never see him again, nor even think about him..there he was. Naturally, Derrick was pissed mostly with himself. Especially, how things went down with Henry. It wasn't suppose to be this way. It really wasn't. He wanted to be good. He'd have to be, if he wanted to be with Henry. Because, Henry was amazingly naive, yet not at all vulnerable. Which, Derrick couldn't say the same about himself.
What was it that Henry did that made him a better person? If Derrick could read it in a book, take a course in, even be brained washed, he'd do it. But it was unlikely he'd ever be as true to Henry. There were too many thoughts of how easy it was to fall into things he never looked out for. Especially, with Dorian.
Next thing he knew, they were where no one went, out on the boat dock, finding a place on the water to go. The night was so alive. Away from the crowd. Deep in the dark. Only the frogs croaked a melody that Derrick hardly noticed. It was as if something Derrick was sure was dry as dusty bones came alive again, before the first kiss even lingered.
Dorian would obviously do all the things Henry resisted. Derrick felt sad about that, but only later. Not then, because the night was spectacular that started the new day even better.
But they talked, a great deal over coffee. It was at the all night diner that no one went to, anymore. Which was good. Just the two of them. Dorian told him he was sorry about his sister, Amanda. Was that why he wouldn't see him?
Derrick shook his head. He didn't really know.
"Look..I just thought..it would ..it would be better for you. If..if I wasn't around." Derrick couldn't look him in the eye. "I guess I didn't want to know if you were..a jerk..or not." Derrick felt as if he were talking about himself. He could have used more vile words, but he was certain now that Dorian cared about him.
"And you don't know about..that other thing." Derrick sighed as if he'd let another black balloon of doubt slip away from him. He was on his third cup of coffee.
"What other thing?" Dorian winced as he poured more coffee in his own cup.
"You know Josie..Josie Greene." Derrick looked at him seriously.
"What about her?" Dorian shrugged.
"She's having my kid." Derrick said very quickly. "I thought everyone knew."
"I heard something. But someone said she was seeing some college dude and it was his." Dorian looked at him blankly.
"Its really fucked up." Derrick let slip.
"Yeah, sounds like it would be." Dorian's grin was impish. Derrick tried not to laugh.
"Her Dad won't let her keep it." Derrick sighed. "But, um, this guy..who I stay with, is gonna adopt it."
"So..what does that mean? You and him?" Dorian asked. Derrick looked at him wide eyed. Now that really cracked him up. The thought of Asa and him as something more than family.
"God, no." Derrick took a breath seeing how Dorian didn't really know him. "Asa's my sister's..he might as well have been her husband."
"Yeah..of course." Dorian's lip twitched as if he was thinking of something else, "Its you and Henry." There was the sound of dread in his voice.
"Henry." Derrick took a sip of coffee not wanting to think what his eye looked like at the moment.
"He's so young." Dorian just said as he grabbed a menu before they outstayed their welcome.
Derrick nodded. He guessed it was true. It was pressure always having to do the right thing with him. He was suppose to be older and wiser. Sometimes, Derrick felt obligated to be someone that wasn't really him. He didn't feel that way with Dorian. Yet, he had to remember, Dorian had a girlfriend. And all of this might be like a fantasy at the moment. What if Dorian acted like he didn't know him tomorrow?
"How about pancakes?" Dorian smiled. "Maybe crepes. That's even better."
Derrick nodded. One moment he was thinking how he'd have to let down Henry in so many ways, but maybe he didn't have to.