Tuesday, July 10, 2012
something to hang on to
Asa felt as if he might as well be walking on the moon, lately. There was too much going on. At work. Even at home. He guessed it was good Camille went with him to Elliot's cookout. Yet, it made him squirm when Elliot's Dad cornered him, with a slap on the back. "Its good to see you, back in the saddle, son."
Asa flinched so, by the pat on the back, he got away as fast as he could with his hands shoved in his kakis, thinking he might as well hide in a group of women. He remembered how he loved to keep Elliot's mother, Aunt June, company in the kitchen, when he was younger.
But Elliot's Dad, Warren, kept insisting Asa was always a Momma's boy. And so, June stayed away from him as if she might be a bad influence. He looked around, thinking things hadn't changed all that much.
He went back to listening to Camille talk about her trip.
"Well, it ended badly." She rolled her eyes as she sipped another margarita. "I know he wanted me to marry him, but I don't want to get married." She was all smiles as if she couldn't stop herself from telling anyone, everything about her life. Including Josie's too.
Asa winced, thinking there was something important he should be thinking on, but thoughts of Camille came back to haunt him. She did get sauced, so to speak, he took her home, and got her to bed. Nothing, happened. Even if she'd gotten a little too close. He guessed that was sort of a hickey on his neck, but he didn't claim it to be one.
He was mad about that. Perhaps it was the thought that he didn't feel Amanda's presence, as he used too. It was slowly fading. He willed it when he could. Now just soft tears shed as he laid in bed, sleepless, in his pajama pants and gray tank. How was he ever going to be a father to a newborn? Why couldn't he hear Amanda's voice anymore? He longed for her touch.
Asa was too tired to pull out the scrapbooks from under the bed. No, he didn't want to see old pictures of Amanda, he wanted to see her face so clearly when he closed his eyes. Nothing. Total darkness. Why did she decide to ignore him now? It pained him so. He tried to remember what they'd done the last 4th together. There just weren't enough memories of her. He decided.
The doorbell rang. He wiped the tears with the back of his hand and managed to get to the door in time. It was Kyle with Rosie.
"I hope you don't mind." Kyle sighed.
"No, no..not at all." He'd taken the day off. Trying to get himself in order for the rest of the summer.
"Missed you at the carnival." Kyle grinned as he handed over a dolphin key chain that Rosie won and wanted to make sure he got it. "She kept looking for you. Wanted to win something, just for you."
He pulled her up in his arms. She was full of grins as she slapped at his lean jaw. Immediately, her little finger poked at the mark on his neck. "What's this? A vampire got, you!"
Asa immediately burned with embarrassment. He shook his head.
"Its not what you think?" He assured Kyle as Rosie immediately went to her little corner in the livingroom.
"You don't have to explain." Kyle smiled.
"No," He was so upset to think Kyle would think he'd have a one night stand. He sat down on the couch. "It was a really crazy 4th." He shook his head, telling him about Josie's mother, Camille.
"Tell me about it." Kyle mentioned the fight Derrick had with Ian. Luckily, the cops didn't hone in on it. They were busy with some rowdy teenagers in the bandstands.
"Derrick got in a fight with Ian?" Asa winced. He knew he should have gone to that carnival.