Friday, December 14, 2012
in all honesty
Aidan thought it was the perfect timing. He wanted to pop the question before Christmas. He'd even found a ring he liked online. He so wanted to ask Audrey to marry him.
"I dunno, honey." His mother cautioned him. She still found time to get him alone in the kitchen for a cup of hot tea and scones. "You just got out of a marriage."
"And..and that was completely wrong. It was all wrong, Mom. But..but this is different. And, and I really think we are good for each other." He rolled it over and over in his head. They were a team. They were there for each other. And there were no sad parts. He didn't think. He wasn't having to live up to anything. He could be himself around Audrey. And besides, she always made him smile.
"Oh honey..." There his mother went. Clasping her cold fingers over his. "I get it. I do. I loved your father very much. But, but I don't think you are ready. Maybe, maybe it would be best if..if you two moved in, together for a while. See how it goes." She winced.
He winced back. What did she think he was doing? They were together. OK, so he still had his room here, but he spent most of his time with Audrey, above the garage with a room full of cats.
"But..but I like being married." He finally said it out loud. He wasn't trying to capture Audrey. He felt it was time to grow up. Weren't they grownups now?
"OK, I can't keep this from you." Audrey was a bit claustrophobic when Aidan got back to their little haven. Her place. She was pacing about as if she'd had a fallback of some sort.
Aidan didn't like what he saw. Maybe his Mom was right. Maybe Audrey couldn't change. What if she went back to using whatever it was that she evidently loved more than him.
Aidan watched with open eyes.
"Don't tell me...you didn't.." He sucked in a breath.
"What?" She winced hard as if he were wrong. Very wrong. "God! Aidan!" She sighed before she could bite her thumbnail into the quick. "Its..Its a family thing.."
"You're pregnant?" He winced more, thinking how careful they'd been. They'd decided early on they'd never have kids. The world was just too hard right now.
"Aidan?" Her eyes bore into him as if he was being the worst boyfriend.
"Well, tell me." He glared right back. They were suppose to be honest.
"I promised my Mom, I wouldn't tell." She shrugged as if she was consumed with the secret.
"We're suppose to tell each other, everything." It was the golden rule. He touched her thin shoulders. Really, she seriously looked as if she were coming down with something, and they hadn't even gone Christmas shopping for any of their family.
As he said the words, he knew it sounded a little childish, but it was honesty, at its best. "You can tell me, anything." This meant how miserable her day went. How low she might feel that she wanted a touch of her old life back.
"Mom told me that Kayla is my sister." She quickly said. "Kayla doesn't even know. And..and do you know how bad I want to say something?" She flung herself on the sofa as if she were ready for a therapy session to commence.
"Ever thought she might want you, to tell her?" Aidan hated secrets. "Why did she tell you?" Aidan hugged himself as he watched her twist and turn in her short sweater dress. She'd already pushed herself out of her little black ankle boots and laid there in her periwinkle stockings.
"I can't believe you said that." She rested the back of her fore arm across her eyes as if the late evening was too bright for her. "Anyway, it was just a slip up. She didn't mean too."
Finally she propped herself up on her elbows.
"Its just.." She shook her head. "Kayla always thought she was so much better than me. You know, like her family was better. She was an only child. And..and God, she would still be working on her doctorate degree or something if she hadn't met Oliver. Education, was always a big deal to her and her family. And..and my family..I feel like such an idiot, that I wasted all this money my parents spent on me..and..even worse..Luc never got to go college..all because of..me."
"So..you are ..making this about you?" Aidan let a smile slip as he sat on the other end of the couch with her feet in his lap.
"I guess I am. I really don't mean too." She swelled a frown.
"You have to stop feeling guilty. Luc is just fine. He managed to get himself a pretty good job, now didn't he?" Aidan reminded her.