Tuesday, January 29, 2013

holding out

it could happen




Ricki guessed she had friends. What if everyone at the house was putting up with her, just because she was with Topher?

"How can you say that?" Luc looked shocked that she'd even said it, out loud in the kitchen. Olivia was there with him. They were working around her, cleaning up the kitchen while she sat at the kitchen table, feeling like a bloated whale.

"I'm sorry." She felt like crying. She'd been pregnant far too long.

"You, have nothing to be sorry about." Olivia chimed in as she gave Ricki a pat on the back.

Seriously, Ricki felt everything was a slow go, lately. Christmas was good. She supposed. Maybe Topher's parents were putting up with her, too.

She was depressed. She guessed. And it was snowing again, which meant no way was she going outside. She could slip and fall.

Why did she feel she was an island watching everything move around her and she was barely standing.

"Is there anything you want to do? That Twilight movie is still showing at the mall. We could take you." Luc remembered how she wanted to go see it, but Ricki was sure she'd get emotional while eating popcorn and come down with a cold.

"No, no." She shook her head. She wanted to stay home. Maybe have the baby right here. It was a nice thought. She smiled then.

"What are you thinking?" Olivia looked at her as if she was acting weird.

"Oh, I was just thinking, what if I had the baby here, you know. No hospital to put up with." She made it sound like a good idea.

"Are you crazy?" Olivia looked at Ricki as if she might need some special attention.

"I've got Luc." Ricki was serious, but she was smiling.

"Hold on there."

Luc's reaction wasn't quite what Ricki had in mind.  "I don't know babies. Seriously. I mean, I took blood from one or two, out of the heel of their foot. I mean, me delivering a baby? I don't think so." He shook his head as if he'd have no part of it.

"When the time comes, we ..we are getting you to the hospital." Olivia looked at Luc as if it were settled.

"What if..it never happens?" Ricki squinted hard, imaging what it might be like if the baby was five years old, still in her stomach. It made her back hurt, ever so intense. She started to cry. Maybe it was a laugh. She wasn't even sure, but it did feel like an earthquake inside her. She grabbed on to the table for support.

"OH GOD." Olivia winced. "Call, Topher now. Tell him to meet us at the hospital," she said to Luc, who grabbed his cell.

Ricki grabbed Olivia's hand. She didn't let go.

"Just breathe, OK. Just breathe." Olivia told her. She wasn't leaving her side.

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