Monday, March 18, 2013
finding a peace
Lola was still in shock. She felt as if she'd gone through the motions this week at school. The days were full of sunshine, but so deceiving. It was a bitter cold at the funeral. The mood was a lot like how she felt. So empty. She felt lost without Sunny.
But she'd gotten a full scholarship at an art school in New York City. Sunny's destiny. Lola didn't want to believe it was her's. That was in the back of her mind. She was going where Sunny wanted to go. This was Sunny's scholarship.
"You don't have to, you know. Not if you don't want too." Crosby told her later when they were alone in her room.
Lola needed to sleep, but she was so restless. Uncertain of everything. Crosby held her now, fully clothed, with their shoes off in her bed.
"I'd be an idiot if I didn't go." She could hear Sunny's words. She'd be a fool to let something like this slip through her fingers. Lola never thought she'd have a chance at getting into that kind of art school.
"Its months from now." She couldn't look at him, but he turned her toward him.
Just how well would she spend her time, until then?
Lola wanted to make every moment count with him.
She hoped they would be doing lots of things together. It didn't matter if it was painting his grandmother dining room that his grandmother had been hinting about. She'd be happy with what ever was on Crosby's to do list, as long as they were together. She felt certain she needed a new project going.
She touched his face, as if he were the canvass of her future. They kissed as if, somehow, they'd get through this loss, together.
Yes, she knew they needed to live and love, but sometimes, she just wanted to more. This was something she didn't want to let go of.